January 5 2018

Arkan, Our Brave Warrior

Three years ago we were blessed with the birth of our long-awaited second child; our handsome, smart and very charismatic baby boy Arkan.

As expected, having an eight year age gap between him and his brother Adam wasn’t the easiest ride, mainly the two not having much in common, each belonging to a different world of interests. So although they actually love being around each other, they don’t really play together that much.
One would be reading, while the other watches cartoons, one would be writing his homework, while the other scribbles all over the walls, one would be singing, while the other screams his lungs out; but they still managed to find a few things they actually enjoy doing together. They love playing hide and seek, having foam sword fights, and of course, they like playing video games together. But I must say, the one thing they enjoy the most is wrestling! Yep, you read that right, they do wrestle, a LOT, and don’t be fooled by Arkan’s little body and young age, he has one hell of a headlock that even mom & dad find hard to escape from.

What I’m trying to say I guess, is although we would’ve loved to see our sons having more in common, spending more quality time together and not just around each other, and although our experience might not be an ideal one to many, but to us, it is definitely a very exciting and a very rewarding one, despite all challenges that make it overwhelming at times, and looking at the bright side, the best part about such an age gap for us as parents is not having to deal with siblings’ jealousy or rivalry… almost! 😉

And as my baby boy grew, so did his struggle… and ours.
See, Arkan was hitting all milestones he was supposed to, until the age of 8 months, that’s when he started showing difficulties in feeding. I started talking to doctors about my concerns, but was asked to be patient and wait.
With every passing day, his feeding would regress, and on top of that, he started showing signs of speech delay. Then the problems kept adding up: balance problems, being in pain most of the time, having mood swings and getting really cranky and not being able to express himself in words.
To make a long story short, my son’s situation was worsening by the day, and all my trips to doctors were in vain. I was considered an over-protective paranoid mom, and was constantly asked to be patient and wait it out… because my son looked “perfectly healthy”.
But I didn’t wait, and I’m glad I didn’t, I felt something was off, so I followed my gut, put my life on hold and started educating myself in every aspect of child development; I read, researched, investigated here and there, I consulted a number of physicians, I had my son assessed _physically & developmentally_ by every specialist you could think of,  and every time I’d get a diagnosis, I would go and read about it, if I felt the diagnosis didn’t fit my son’s condition, I’d simply ignore it and keep looking.

I kept doing this, until finally, last summer _yeah, it took me two whole years to get the right help_  August 22nd, 2017, we got a proper diagnosis for my son’s condition. That day I realized that all my son’s tantrums were not those of the terrible twos, but those related to pain and frustration caused by: Chiari Type I Malformation, a congenital structural defect in the base of the skull and cerebellum that causes a brain herniation, where part of the brain (cerebellar tonsils) descends into the spinal area.
Many refer to it as a rare condition, but it’s not actually (about 1 in every thousand people have it), it’s just hard to diagnose, and is commonly misdiagnosed as migraines in adults.

In October, Arkan had a brain decompression surgery (not just a bone decompression, but also a duraplasty and the whole nine yards really) it was a nightmare to make the decision whether or not to operate on him, given the risks and his young age, but we made our decision after extensive research and consulting, and we pray to God every day that we made the right choice.

We were told that it’d take an average of 6 months for any significant improvement to show.
It’s been only two months since the surgery, we had a few set backs, unfortunately, but his health is now stable, thank God.
As for any significant improvements in his preoperative symptoms, there aren’t any yet, except for the fact that he seems to be in a lot less pain.
Till today, he’s still struggling with feeding, and he’s still completely non-verbal.
And as hard as it is, we’re trying to be as patient and as optimistic as possible.
We’ll never give up hope, and we’ll keep supporting him every way possible, and we’ll do all we could to hear his voice and see him devouring one of his favorite meals as kids his age do.

We love you our little Chiarian, our strong brave warrior, Arkan.

 

P.s. For more info. about Chiari Malformations, also check Conquer Chiari.

 

 

Category: Canada, Chiari Malformation, Just Personal | 14 Comments on Arkan, Our Brave Warrior
January 3 2018

“يوم لك ويوم عليك”

وأخيراً انتهت سنة 2017 ، أسوأ سنوات حياتي على الإطلاق.

سنة كانت أشبه بكابوس، جعلتني أعيد التفكير في كل جوانب حياتي. فيها تعلّمت المعنى الحقيقي للإرادة والإصرار، فيها عرفت معادن الناس من حولي (للأسف أغلبها طلع مصدّي).
علّمتني 2017 أن العديد من الناس التي كنت أعتقد أنها متفتّحة و خلوقة هي أبعد ما تكون عن ذلك، وأن كل ما تحتاجه هو إختلاف صغير في الرأي، إنتقاد بسيط، لترى الناس على حقيقتها، ولتكتشف أن الاختلاف في الرأي يفسد للود ألف قضية.
سنة قررت فيها أن أعيد ترتيب أولوياتي، وأن لا أضيع وقتي ومجهودي على أناس لا تستحق، همّها الوحيد الاستغلال. قرّرت أن لا أكترث لأي شيء، تعبت من زيف الناس، تعبت من لعبة التظاهر التي باتت هي سبر العلاقات.

أعرف العديد من الناس الذين مرّوا بظروف أصعب بكثير من ظروفي في السنة الفائتة، أشخاص تعبوا وعملوا بكل إجتهاد، ولكن لم يحالفهم الحظ في تحقيق الحد الأدنى مما يطمحون إليه، يرون غيرهم يصل لكل ما يريد، إما بإستحقاق أو بدون أي تعب، فتثبط عزيمتهم ويشعرون باليأس و الإحباط، ولكن علينا جميعاً أن نتّفق أن سنوات حياتنا متقلّبة، منها الجميل ومنها السيئ، وأنّ معادلة السعادة  التي كنّا _ولازلنا_ نتلقّنها ليست دقيقة ولا واقعية 100% .
فلطالما ردّدنا أنّ “من جدّ وجد”، وأنّ “من طلب العلا سهر الليالي”…حتى بيت الشعر الشهير :”ما كل ما يتمنى المرء يدركه ..تجري الرياح بما لا تشتهي السفنُ” صار في نظر الناس اليوم سلبياً مرادفاً للانهزام والتّهاون، مع  أنه أكثر ما تعلّمنا واقعية، فهو لا يدعو للانهزام كما يعتقد الكثير، بل يدعو للرضا وتقبّل الواقع، أهم بندين لمواجهة العقبات وتخطّيها، وبدأ الناس يتسابقون في نشر الأبيات التالية كبديل:
” تجري الرياح كما تجري سفينتنا ..
نحن الرياح و نحن البحر و السفن ُ
إن الذي يرتجي شيئاً بهمّتهِ ..
يلقاهُ لو حاربَتْهُ الانسُ والجنُ ..
ُّفاقصد الى قمم الاشياءِ تدركها
تجري الرياح كما رادت لها السفنُ”

التي لا أتفق معها شخصياً، مع أنني أحب الهدف منها: تشجيع الناس وإقناعهم أنهم الوحيدون الذين يصنعون واقعهم، ولكنه كلام غير دقيق، ومحبط لكل من يعمل ويجد دون أن يلقى أي نتيجه، والسبب أن هذه الأبيات تلغي إرادة الله، لا مكان فيها للحظ والتوفيق ولا إعتبار لما ليس للإنسان أي سيطرة عليه.
التركيز كان ولايزال على الجهد الذي نبذله وعلى ثقتنا بنفسنا وقدراتنا، ولا يمكن التقليل من أهمية هذه الأشياء، ولكن هناك العديد من الأمور التي هي خارج نطاق سيطرتنا، أمور تقلب موازين حياتنا وتزلزل كياننا: المرض والموت، الحروب والكوارث الطبيعية، غدر الناس…

 لا تكتمل معادلة السعادة  بالعمل وحده، ولا بالثقة بالنفس وحدها، ولا بالحظ وحده، بل تحتاج لهم كلّهم لتكتمل، تحتاج للتفاؤل والإيجابية، تحتاج للثقة بالله قبل الثقة بالنفس، تحتاج لتقبّل الواقع ومعاندته في آن واحد، تحتاج لأن نتطلع لغد أفضل وأيام أجمل وسنوات أحلى.
فلا تلقوا باللوم على أنفسكم إن قمتم بالمستحيل ولم تنجحوا، لا تحزنوا و لا تيأسوا من مخطّطات لم تكتمل أو قرارات لم تنفّذ، واصلوا العمل بجدّ وتفاءلوا، و كونوا على يقين، أنّ عدم تحقيق ما نطمح إليه ليس هزيمة، بل عثرة مؤقتة، تقوّينا وتشجّعنا على المثابرة.

مع كل الصفعات التي تلقيتها في 2017، لازلت شاكرة ممتنّة لكل ما وهبني الله، لا زلت أرى وأقدّر النّعم العديدة التي أنعم بها علي، وبدل أن أنكسر أصبحت أكثر عناداً وأشد إصراراً على الوقوف بشموخ، أقوى وأثبت من كل السنين التي مرّت.

أتمنى لكم جميعاً سنة أسعد وأحلى وأجمل من التي سبقتها، وأن يمنّ الله عليكم بحياة مديدة ملؤها الخير والصحة وسعة الرزق والحظ الوفير و الأصدقاء الأوفياء … سنة سلام وحرّيّة وعدل.
ورغم كل شيء تفاءلوا، تفاءلوا بالخير، تجدوه بإذن الله.

Category: General, Just Personal, Posts in Arabic | 2 Comments on “يوم لك ويوم عليك”
April 25 2017

On Sports and My New Obsession With Cardio Kickboxing

First, allow me to quickly introduce you to the sporty side of me, just in case you don’t know me in person, or you’d just met me.

  1. I hate going to the gym. I admire every person who goes there, I respect everyone who works in a gym, and once I’m there I truly enjoy myself, but the problem is getting me there. I hate being watched by people, and hate not being left alone to workout in peace, because it’s almost impossible to avoid chit-chats, which I really really hate during workout. The idea of the gym gives me this weird “boxed-in” suffocating feeling that I really dislike, I’m more of an open-air person and always prefer the outdoors in natural settings.
  2. I  automatically lose interest in sports that many people around me do; they suddenly feel boring and unchallenging. I hate to be told what sports I should or should not do… blame it on my Zodiac sign (that stubborn Taurus in me).
  3. I hate it when people assume that I should be doing a certain sport because of my interests and the kind of personality they think I have. For example, I do not like to run!
    “But you love to write” they comment, frustrated.  Now despite Hollywood’s persistent attempts at associating writers with running, and although many people who happen to love writing, do in fact enjoy running, and despite the countless undeniable benefits of the sport, it’s not for everyone. In my case particularly, a long time sufferer of a herniated disc, running does more harm than good, so no, thank you, I’ll cheer for you when you run, but would rather leave it at that.
    Do you know that there’s a beautiful trail behind our house? I see runners every day; mornings, afternoons, evenings, and what do I do? I just watch them happily while I’m enjoying my morning coffee, afternoon tea, or while devouring my scrumptious Nutella jar! I’m that hopeless (blush)

So what sports do I like?
I like biking, it combines the speed of running with the calmness of walking, an oddly attractive combination I like and never find boring. I also like tennis, but my back injury limits me, and I love swimming, and water sports in general . I’m very much interested in Stand Up Paddle-boarding (SUP)and am preparing to give it a try this summer hopefully.
I’m a yogi at heart; I love the concept of Yoga, I love the peacefulness, the outcome and the whole zen-effect it has on a person. I do yoga every now and then to control my herniated disc situation, and it always works magic on my pain. BUT… it’s too boring for me in its traditional version. I’m more interested in a new art of yoga called: SUP Yoga, once I master the stand up paddle-boarding, I will give SUP Yoga a try for sure. (Will keep you posted).
I also like Zumba, my only problem with it is that I always end up dancing to the rhythm rather than following the instructor’s lead. So it’s more like Zumba à la Eman, which has a certain resemblance to the actual Zumba, but is really a whole different workout 😀

Anyway, my life has been really crazy lately. Let’s just say that when life decides to get tough, it just gets tough with no breaks. You have to keep on going, and as they say: the only way out is through.
So one horrible horrible day,  I was feeling like my whole life was falling apart, tired of struggling. I was so frustrated, so angry, so exhausted. I went to drop off my older son to his Karate lesson, and was trying to keep my little one busy while we waited for the lesson to come to an end. So to make things fun, I started mimicking some Karate moves I saw the class making, but he wasn’t amused, at all. It wasn’t until I collected a few beanbag chairs from the floor and built a small tower that I kicked and knocked over that he seemed to show interest and laugh like crazy. But the shocker was how amazing I felt! I felt my anger disappear, my strength kicking in and my whole mood improving.
So when we returned home, I did a small online search of sports that might be close to what I was doing, and that’s when I came across Cardio Kickboxing. And man is it AWESOME! I’m really surprised, because the one sport I’ve always resented and hated watching my whole life _besides wrestling_ was actually boxing. And then I heard of kickboxing, and I still hated it, it was nothing but two people beating the hell out of each other, at least this is how I saw it. But watching is one thing, and practicing is a whole different thing.
Let me tell you ladies and gentlemen, if you haven’t tried cardio kickboxing, YOU MUST TRY IT, it’s the one thing that was able to rid me of my anger and stress and keep me sane for the last few weeks.  I’m so in love with it, and although I don’t have much time to exercise, I enjoy every second of the time I get to do it.

Category: Just Personal | 2 Comments on On Sports and My New Obsession With Cardio Kickboxing
September 19 2016

Mom, Are You A Vegetarian?

Adam: Mama, are you a Vegetarian?
Me: No habibi. You know I eat meat… sometimes.
Adam: I also know you’d pick Falafel over Shawarma any time. You also prefer veggie burgers not chicken/beef burgers… oh, and you always eat spicy VEGGIE Sushi.
Me: I like them more, that’s all.
Adam: You also eat veggie poutine Mama, and order that veggie Thai something (referring to Pad Thai), and always get excited about meatless pasta dishes.
Me: Hmm, that’s true actually.
Adam: The other day you ate a veggie crêpe instead of fish sandwiches like me and Baba.
Me: Yep.
Adam: You make us these weird vegetable & hummus sandwiches.
Me: But you like them right?
Adam: Not as much as meat sandwiches though. Oh, and you also pick the meat out of the stew from your dishes and eat the rice with just the vegetables.
Me: (And I thought no one actually noticed :D)
Adam: You watch lots of shows & documentaries about vegetarian food.
Me: I’m just curious and try to get inspired to make more yummy veggie meals.
Adam: So you ARE a Vegetarian?
Me: No I’m not.
Adam: Ok, ok. I think you are, but anyways… Can we order Pizza?
Me: Sure, what would you like?
Adam: Pepperoni.
Me: Ordering on the phone “We’d like to order one Pepperoni & one small cheese Pizza please”
Adam: Pfft…
Category: Just Personal | 6 Comments on Mom, Are You A Vegetarian?
September 7 2016

Back to School Ecstasy

Today was the first day of school in my area, and boy don’t we just love these back-to-school days with all the hustle and bustle they bring us!
Traffic jams, crowded sidewalks, delightful school busses, colorful bikes (and their tiny bells), some uniforms here, some fashion statements there, kids laughing, others crying, smiley faces, teary eyes… a very interesting mixture of emotions this day, not only on children’s faces, but also on those of parents.

Like children, you’d see parents who are having a hard time letting go of their little ones _or not so little ones_ on the first day of school. Parents who are already exhausted from a long summer vacation and wish they could still get a couple more weeks to relax and do all the things they wanted to do with their kids but couldn’t for one reason or the other.
Parents who didn’t get enough of their kids, who miss them even before they went to school, who feel guilty for waking them up from their deep sleep and dragging them to a place away from home.

And the other parents, the joyous and excited parents. Parents who were waiting for this day since June, parents, who, as much as they love their kids, have just had it with vacation and all its stress and drama. Parents who need school more than anything, who thank God for the teaching profession… parents who can’t hide their happy smiles and cheerful energy, because, today is, all about them.
Today they get to forget about everything, for a few hours, and focus on themselves. Today they get to sip coffee in a café, the grown-up style: scream-free, whining-free, and mess-free.
They could go for a walk WHENEVER they want to, or maybe run their butts off like there’s no tomorrow. They could relax and watch a grownup movie without worrying about language, violence or anything else. Today they could sleep in, for as long as they want, and everything can just wait. They can go shopping in peace, they can grab a bite like an adult, they can listen to whatever they want, they can surf the internet for hours and hours, they can finally go to work not worrying where their kids will be and how they’ll spend their time.
It doesn’t matter whether the parent is working or not, the back- to- school day is very special to every parent, they feel like someone has taken a really huge burden off their shoulders, they feel, how do I put it? …light and free.

Every year, I make sure to drop off my son to school the first day, although he takes the bus to school, just like my parents used to do every single year with all five of us, and there are many parents who do the same with their kids every year.
Today though, I couldn’t but notice that unlike other years, the happy parents were an overwhelming number, and to be honest, I enjoyed watching every single one of them. They were everywhere. After finding their kids’ classes, these parents made sure to document the big day with a picture of their kids in the class lineup (which was most likely uploaded to multiple social media networks), kissed them goodbye, and jogged, yes, jogged out of school before the class was even dismissed. The look on most parents’ faces as they were leaving the school was just priceless.
There were these two dads in particular that made me, and many others, laugh like crazy, their reaction was hilarious. One was walking towards his car that was parked next to mine, apparently a working dad, judging from his suit and laptop case, which means, that he’s most probably heading to work, not to some fun place where he can enjoy being child-free, but still, once he stepped into his car, he checked his hair in the rear mirror, put on his seat-belt, turned on the radio -on a really high volume-, rolled his window down, and screamed: “yo hoo!” at the top of his lungs, while driving away.
The other dad, was walking in front of me on his way to the bike parking racks, and I don’t know if he was a stay-at -home – dad, or a work-from-home-dad, or about-to-go-to-work-dad, no idea, he was wearing a t-shirt, shorts and slippers, he apparently came with his kids on their bikes, he was humming some song, dancing to the beat in his head, got on his bike, got a really deep breath, looked at us all and said: “is it me? or is today… (now he shouts) friggin’ AWESOME!” and he disappeared into the woods, just like that.

These people and their pure joyful -and justifiable- selfish excitement made my day. My day, which, unlike many other parents, will not be that different, because with my eldest going to school, I still wont have the freedom to spend my time the way I wish, since I have the neediest creature there is to share the house with: my toddler 😀 yep, I’m proudly struggling to manage house chores, raise a toddler, work from home, develop my skills and maintain what’s left of my sanity; but I can’t complain really, I thank God that I’m lucky enough to be worrying about just that and nothing else of what other parents in many less-fortunate parts of the world have to deal with.

May every child have the blessing of health, a family, a safe environment and a right to education.

And parents, enjoy the school year as it lasts 😉

 

Category: Canada, Just Personal | 3 Comments on Back to School Ecstasy
April 9 2016

Off To The Movies With Your Baby

A few weeks ago, and while watching a TV show about parenting on a German channel, I was taken by a scene shot in a cinema full of parents with their teeny tiny little bundles of joy. After a bit of googling here and there, I was introduced to “Kinderwagenkino“, which literally translates into: ‘Baby Stroller Cinema’.
The concept is to have movie theaters offer baby-friendly showings of brand new movies, to parents with infants and children under 2 years of age. So participating cinemas would specify certain times for these showings and would of course take into consideration babies’ sensitive ears and eyes by lowering the volume and dimming the lighting. The cinemas will also accommodate parents’ needs by providing a changing table inside the theater, (some theaters may provide couches for parents & babies to stretch on and relax) in addition to a designated area to park the baby’s stroller indoors right next to the entrance.

To be honest I was a bit jealous and envious of German parents. And for some weird reason, I didn’t dig deeper, I just let it go and went on as if I never heard of it in the first place… so unlike me :/

Anyways, a few days later, my husband took our older son to the movies, and they came back with a surprise; a flyer titled: “Stars & Strollers“. Which was exactly “Kinderwagenkino”, but Canadian version.
I was over the clouds. I got online, and after viewing what was available for that week, I decided to go for “My Big Fat Greek Wedding 2”. Continue reading

Category: Canada, Cool Stuff, Just Personal | 5 Comments on Off To The Movies With Your Baby
January 19 2016

Eight Years Apart

8years A year ago, in December, as many of you already know, I was blessed with the addition of my sweet baby boy: Arkan. And as many of you also know, he’s my second child, my first being my awesome son Adam, who, as many of you don’t actually know, is 8 years older than Arkan…
Yes, yes, a huge age gap, I’m perfectly aware of that, and believe me, every single person I meet manages to stress out this fact one way or the other. I remember when I was pregnant with Arkan, some people tried to “prepare” me for the harsh reality that is awaiting me, some tried to “warn” me about the many downsides of having siblings with such a huge difference, and many tried to conceal their shock with hesitant smiles, or tried to show support by saying the wrong kind of things, like: “well, what can one do? just try to look at the bright side”, “at least they’ve got each other, you know”, “let’s pray it’s a girl and hope for the best!”, “I have the same situation at home and I can’t begin to tell you what a nightmare my life has been, but then again, every experience is different”.
It doesn’t really bother me that people think this way, and I don’t mind it, as long as I know that it’s all governed by good intentions. I love sincere people, people who honestly care, even if they don’t know you, even if they know they’ll never ever see you again.
And among the many who tried to scare the hell out of me, there were a few who made sure I don’t let any negative comments steal my excitement, or ruin my experience.

The once helpless little baby is now one year old. The age gap that many people tried to scare me of, was a beautiful bliss I’m so thankful for. I’m enjoying motherhood just as much as I did with my first one. I don’t have to worry about jealousy, nor fighting. My older son is a very responsible and caring helper, who is enjoying our new addition as much as we are.
I know they won’t share many things together, and that each will have his own world that is almost a decade away from the other, but they’ve got each other, there will always be a point where their two worlds will intersect, a rare  miraculous bond I’m so glad for .
The point I’m trying to make here is that you shouldn’t let anyone scare you no matter what the circumstances. Whether you have an only child, or twins, or siblings with a very small age gap, or a very big one, every experience is different, and each one has its own positive and negative sides. Focus on the bright side, work around the dark corners, and you’ll end up with a magical experience like no other.

When I was pregnant, I suggested Adam chooses a nice book to buy for the baby, and he chose a lovely book that had the feature of playing musical instruments. It was so sweet, and when he came to the world, Arkan loved it . I was so proud of Adam’s choice of books.
A year later, for Arkan’s first birthday, I suggested Adam picks another book as a gift to his baby brother, and well, let’s just say, this time, his choice wasn’t as mature nor sensitive 😀 Of all the lovely baby books out there he had to choose this: Toot.

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What can I say… boys will always be boys!
P.s. The whole family enjoys this lovely, very funny & extremely cute book. 

Category: Books, Just Personal | 4 Comments on Eight Years Apart
November 12 2015

On Becoming a Canadian Citizen

As many of you already know, we landed in Canada a few years ago. I remember the very first steps I took in Toronto Pearson International Airport. They were shaky, unsteady steps, driven by curiosity, worry,  excitement and a mixture of ambition and fear.

Before coming here, we heard lots of mixed reviews of the country and its lifestyle. So we decided to learn from the experiences of others, without letting these experiences shape our own expectations or decisions. In short, we decided to live our own adventure with all its details, all its twists and turns, being prepared for the best as well as the worst case scenarios.

In Canada, and no matter where you’re coming from, you’ll suffer from what I like to call: ‘The Canada Shock’. Everywhere you go, you’ll experience this “we’re all different and the same” sensation.
Canada is where you hear a 100 languages you don’t speak, feel like a complete stranger,  then out of nowhere, and like music to your tired ears, someone passes you by, and you hear your mother tongue … you smile, they smile back at you (most of the time) and all of a sudden, you feel you’re home.
Canada is where you feel overwhelmed by the vast majority that is nothing like you; everyone looks different than you do, everyone dresses different than you do, but then you take a closer look and realize they’re, in fact, all like you: they reflect the mixed feelings inside them just as well as you do, they shop for clothes exactly where you do, and they all come from a different place on the map, like you, they struggle to build a new life, like you, and worry about mostly the same things you worry about… you feel at ease, you feel you’re all the same, you feel at home.
Canada is where people eat things like Poutine, Nanaimo Bar, and Maple-glazed everything 😀 , and then you crave hummus & falafel, a hot shawarma, or a steamy biryani, sushi, souvlaki, burgers, steaks, pad thai, or any weird thing you desire, and you’ll mostly find it… and feel at home.

In Canada you can be one of two groups of people. Those who insist on spotting the differences, letting them get in their way, and those who insist on spotting the similarities, overcoming the differences and going their own way. As long as you belong to the second group, you’ll lead a happy peaceful and successful life in Canada. Canada is not a perfect country, but it’s a very unique one.
I’m glad we didn’t let anything influence our journey. It was for sure a bit rough in the beginning, like many immigrants I guess, but with time we learned that you just can’t compare life in Canada to anywhere else in the world. It is indeed, a very unique place, like nowhere else. It has its own system, its own beauty, its own difficulties, and you can’t just get along if you keep comparing it to other places you’ve been, whether those places were better or worse in your own opinion.

This is my first blog post as an officially Canadian citizen, and if there’s anything I love about this country it’s the fact that becoming a Canadian citizen does not require you to hide your origins or forget your roots. And although some people are embarrassed of their origins and do “forget” where they come from, many Canadians don’t. They celebrate where they’re from, revive their cultures, and embrace their roots while beautifully assimilating to their new society. And this makes Canada the wonderful, one of a kind place it is. And this is what I’m gonna pass to my two boys Adam and Arkan: be proud of every drop of blood running through your veins, celebrate who you are, belong to here and there, love here and there, be loyal to here and there.
You might confuse your longing and nostalgia with the feeling of not belonging, you might feel lost and torn at times, but with time you’ll learn how blessed you are, how unique you are, and will learn to appreciate your life, enjoy your life, and love your life.

As for me, today I’m a proud Palestinian (by blood), proud Jordanian (by nationality),  proud Tunisian (by experience) and a proud Canadian (by nationality too).  And although I’ve been to many other places I loved so much and felt at home, but I feel these four countries have shaped who I am today the most, and hope to always represent a good example of all of them. As for being Canadian, well, so far I’m very proud of the outcome of the last elections, and can’t wait for the next elections to practice my right to vote 🙂 … and now, off to the kitchen where a very delicious maple pecan pie awaits me. 😀

Category: Canada, Just Personal | 6 Comments on On Becoming a Canadian Citizen
September 1 2015

Claiming Back Childhood

I’m in love with this ad by GoRVing.ca , it touches me as a parent, because I believe, today’s children lack the one basic thing that should label them as children: their own space.
Parents, myself included, are failing horribly at giving our children the amount of freedom we were given by our parents when we were their age. We’re overprotective, too scared, very worried and paranoid that we have them under constant surveillance. It’s like we keep them in one huge transparent bubble, we allow them to look through it, go crazy in it, as long as we’re sure they wont burst out of it, not “so soon” at least.

To be fair to parents, I completely understand where this paranoia comes from, we’re living in an insane horrible world; what I don’t understand though is: how did we reach this point? and why, despite all efforts, why are things getting only worse?

I am trying, really really hard, to give my boys their own space, their own time, some freedom here and there, but I do know, that I need to do much more to let them experience real wild childhood, the one their dad and mom enjoyed when they were kids.

Category: Canada, General, Just Personal | 2 Comments on Claiming Back Childhood
May 12 2015

Scary Coconuts

A few days ago I went grocery shopping, and when I reached the ‘fresh produce’ section I found lovely small coconuts on display, I approached the stand and the sight of them took me years back to a Sunday morning, in Germany, in a small summer fair I went to with a bunch of friends. That was the first time I ever tasted fresh coconut in my life. I remember the stand, the young man standing behind his beautifully displayed freshly cut coconuts, and the small fountain of coconut water beside them. And I definitely remember my first bite; the texture, the taste. I loved everything about fresh coconuts, I got a few pieces and snacked on them while walking.

Until that moment I only had dried shredded coconuts , which I’m not a huge fan of to be honest; I’d eat a bar of chocolate with dried coconut, some yummy Arabic desserts with it as an ingredient, but I’m not that much into it.
But I’m known for my obsession with coconut oil, not for cooking though, for beauty purposes. I find it to be a perfect skin moisturizer,  hair mask, body scrub, lip balm… I use it alone or get creative mixing it with other natural ingredients and it always works beautifully.

Anyway, back to the grocery shop… I held a coconut in my hands and thought to myself: “why the hell don’t I buy these regularly?”, and few minutes later I was holding it  inside my kitchen. I put it on the table, as if it was a beautiful centerpiece, couldn’t stop looking at it proudly, happily, lovingly… and then it hit me, I never bought a coconut in the shell before, how would I open it?
I know this might seem like a silly question to someone who’s used to buying whole coconuts, but believe me, I had no clue. So I did what I do best in such embarrassing situations, I turned to google.
After watching a selection of videos and reading a bunch of articles on how to “easily open a coconut”, I went back to the kitchen, had my gloves on, a pair of glasses (to protect my eyes from any flying bits as one video suggested), a hammer in my hand, I centered the coconut on the counter, and held my arms up high, which felt more like shooting  a crime scene from a twisted movie rather than an attempt at opening a coconut, but well, google knows best, right! so I gave it the first hit, a gentle one, and God! those coconuts are hard,  I mean rock-hard! My next step was supposed to be a harder hit, but instead, I chickened out, I got so scared, I mean,  what if I hit it and it bounced back hitting me in the head, what if I fell unconscious, I know this is how a child should think , but I couldn’t handle it, I gave up. and waited for my husband to deal with it.
My husband came home from work, he was excited to see a coconut in our kitchen, probably thought I was an expert and would prepare it in minutes for us to feast on, but I told him the ugly truth, he told me his ugly truth, that he never did it before either, but luckily he wasn’t a coward like me, he took the hammer and hit it, repeatedly… but he too gave up when he saw that absolutely NOTHING happened to the coconut. So, we sighed, left it there, disappointed and embarrassed (as our elder son was watching us fail).
I decided I’m never buying whole coconuts ever again, I’ll have to search for shops that sell it cut into slices and ready to eat.

The next morning we woke up to a lovely surprise: a  crack along the shell, my son was so excited, he woke up his dad to the news, all it took was one last hit, and the coconut was finally open, we de-meated it and enjoyed it together… well, I believe Adam didn’t like it that much, it was “too chewy” for his taste, but I certainly loved every bite of it.
Will I ever buy whole coconuts again? I might, only if my husband was ready for the work, because I’m definitely not gonna try opening them, ever, in my life.

Category: Just Personal | 3 Comments on Scary Coconuts