June 17 2004

The Indian “Gilrfriend”

The Indian movie “Girlfriend” directed by Karan Razdan, produced by Paramjeet Baweja, and starring: Aashish Chowdhry, Isha Koppikar, and Amrita Arora, has caused outrageous protests and extremely negative criticizing as it’s considered to be the first movie of its kind in the history of Bollywood. The movie tells the story of two ladies who have been friends since childhood. As they grew up they became obsessed with each other, and even when a guy tries to approach one of them, the other lady does everything she can to stop that relationship from growing and to have her “sweetheart” only for herself.
Not only does the movie discuss an issue that is considered new and unwelcome in the Hindu culture: “lesbianism”, but it also shows hot and very intimate sexual scenes between the two ladies, which is also a taboo to most people -if not all- in India.
There have been protests in Varanasi, Mumbai, Bhubaneswar by Hindu rightwing activists, who say the film’s theme of alternate sexuality is against Indian culture. Even gay rights activists too have opposed “Girlfriend”, saying it is a warped, unrealistic take on lesbianism. Whereas the actress Isha Koppikar believes “Girlfriend” is a very real film, based on real situations”.
About the explicit love making sequence with Amrita Arora, Isha comments:”Frankly, when it came up I did feel uncomfortable about it. But I left the decision entirely to the director. You’ll have to ask him about the groans and moans.”

When it comes to me personally, I join the protesters, not only because I am not convinced that gay people are right and normal , but also because I am against any movie with explicit sexual behavior, whether it was straight or gay, because such movies either use sexual relationships to attract more viewers, i.e. a typical commercial kind of movie, or –in the case of “girlfriend”- to go where no body has gone before to prove courage, and the will to challenge social norms and traditions. Another reason could be just for the fun of making sexual oriented movies. Whether one of these reasons or any other I haven’t thought of, I believe showing such scenes and representing sexuality in that way is so wrong. It kills the privacy of such warm relationships, and makes them for sale and watching and not for bonding. It also misguide teenagers and takes advantage of their unstable, immature and sensitive feelings and desires, which are already on fire. Not to forget its awful disadvantage on the gatherings of families. It has become very hard for parents to go to the movies with their kids and vice versa. They have to go separately to avoid the embarrassment of such shameless movies.
I haven’t watched “Girlfriend” , so my opinion might not be based on solid background, yet from the website of the movie, I could tell what I read on the net about it being very “explicit” seems to be very true. As usual, some would go like: if you don’t like it, don’t watch it! And this is true, and I agree, because I’m mature enough, and I can tell what’s good and bad for me. But when are we going to stop thinking of ourselves and try for once to take into consideration those young people who can hardly tell what’s right from wrong, and who are easily influenced by such movies?! They wont ask their parents for company to a hot lesbian movie, which means the supervision of someone more mature who looks at things and their effects on the long run, would not be present, leaving these boiling piles of emotions and desires to be victims of cheap materialistic entertainment.
Anyway, our time is unfortunately full of such mistakes that will cost, or better say: which is already costing humanity more than it could take…
Movie Preview
Source: DeutscheWelle

June 15 2004

SUPERWOMAN

Again Sireh Wenfatahit discussed a very important issue: The Kitchen. A small title to a very important and long discussion concerning the importance of cooking at home, the difficulties that women face in order to fulfill the role of their grandmothers and mothers in earlier generations, the role of women nowadays and the reasons behind the presence of so many threats to the existence of house kitchen and healthy home cooking. It was a very interesting episode, and what caught my attention was this definition they used addressing the woman of today: “SUPERWOMAN”.
I must admit that it’s the most appropriate definition to use. And I thought it was worth discussing.
A “superwoman” is both what most of men look for in their partners, and what women themselves challenge themselves to be.
A man is no longer looking for a partner to share feelings, a home and a family. He’s not satisfied with a woman who will only cook him a yummy meal, take care of his home and raise their children. He wants a woman that does all that and helps him in life’s difficulties, earn money just like he does, goes paying bills, and picks the children from school. He looks for a sharp thinker, an attractive appearance, and a feminine attitude. But still in all this, he needs the “basics” that are part of being a woman, which are: care, love, cooking, household, and raising kids. So what a man –generally speaking- is looking for nowadays is the skills of the women of yesterday + the character of the woman of today. A good cook, a loving mother, an equal partner, a great employee/ employer, and a sexy person.
I find this normal for a man to expect in our time, life is too demanding to handle alone. But what I think is not fair for women is the level of help a man awaits from his wife. He can’t expect his wife to wake up so early, go to work, spend most of her time there, come back home at around 6 p.m. exhausted, to go shopping for stuff for home, then head straight to the kitchen, prepare dinner, clean the house, look after the kids, keep in touch with friends and family, and at the same time look so elegant, sexy and tidy, with her hair done and her nails shining, smelling so good, then have dinner, clean the mess of after-dinner-time, and still be active and excited enough to spend time with him, talk to him, go out visiting or partying with him, then come back to her clean tidy home and sleep a couple of hours before the alarm goes off! This is not fair. Neither it is fair for her to do nothing in life but gossip, cook and household, neither it is fair for her to lose all those beautiful old pictures of a warm wife. Therefore best thing is choose what gives her the chance to prove herself as a constructive member of society outside the frame of the cook or the baby-sitter, get herself a successful career life that still allows her to fulfill her duty as a loving mother, a great cook and a tidy person. Which means the women should also understand this and stop thinking these stupid ideas of: ah we’re equal and I will show him I’m smarter and can earn as twice as he earns…blah blah blah!
We are equal, equality is not measured with how much each earns, and how long our work hours are. Our equality is measured by proving our success on all levels of life and not only the professional level. What good would it bring a woman to have a full time job of 6-8 hours a day, earning a fortune, yet having to hire a baby-sitter, a maid and a cook. Or even if she doesn’t hire them, she wont be able to talk to her kids, or be calm and active, ready to share her husband his thoughts and sorrows and give him the support he needs to survive his problems. Money might bring more stuff, but it will take away a lot of beautiful meanings from our lives in return. The gathering around a healthy home-cooked meal, the sense of sharing thoughts and many other things are all lost for the sake of few more dollars in the end of the month. It’s true that many men help their wives in household and cooking, but if you look at it, the wife is the one who ends up doing all the work, and the man makes only small things most of the time. Which results in women working like men outside their homes, and working more than men inside their homes. Yet women insist on showing off their ability on being successful workers outside, forgetting that by doing the basic stuff a woman does in her home, she is proving equality to a man working outside his home. Again, I’m not with the traditional picture of women doing the dishes and baking bread, but I’m not with using her love to be “super” to the extreme like we’re seeing today.
Being a woman is not as easy as many people think. She should have her own personality and fulfill her duties as a wife, a mother and a worker all at the same time. All what I wish would happen is that women will re-consider their lifestyles, give it a little thought, think of the best for you and the ones around you. Take a job which wont waste all your time, or get a part-time job only. Men are not better than women, neither are women better than men, they’re both equal and they both complete each other. If you get few money, he’ll get what makes it enough for both of you to have a great life, and if he gives little care, you will give what makes it enough for both of you to enjoy love and happiness. But if both focused on money, there will be no time left for love, and if both focused on love, there will be no money to support that love. We are to help each other and complete what our partners lack, be good at what they’re bad at, and give our best in what they give their least. It’s not with hours nor salaries that you achieve success and superiority, it’s being good at what you do in your professional, social and marital life while keeping a healthy balance between the working woman you love, the wife you adore and the mom you respect that makes you a “superwoman”. And it’s him who respects all three in you, and appreciates the quality and not the quantity of what you’re doing giving you support and treating you with equality who should be called a “superman”.

Category: Women | LEAVE A COMMENT
June 15 2004

Verkleidete Antenne!

Ohne Mobilfunk-Antennen kann man gar nicht mit dem Handy telefonieren, trotzdem, will es man nicht, die Sendemasten bei ihm zu haben. Die Antennen sind wider gesund noch schön, deswegen sind sie unbeliebt. Aber Mast-Macher haben eine sehr kreative und hilfreiche Idee bekommen, um das Problem des Aussehens mindestens zu lösen: sie haben die Mobilfunk-Antennen als Bäume, Kamine oder Kruzifixe verkleidet.
Für um die 25.000 Euro kommt dann kein hässlich-grauer Sende-Spargel in die Landschaft, sondern ein durchschnittlich 30 Meter hohes Baum-Imitat. Mehr…

June 15 2004

French Course Certificate

Yesterday I got my result for my whole French course. The grade of all tests (written and oral) all through the semester where calculated to get a result out of 20. Now the higher grade was 15, second came a 14, and third was 13.75 which belonged to ME. YES!! I came third, didn’t actually expect it to be that good, but well, I’m so happy for the result.
So no more French lessons. It’s such a weird feeling, I consider it such a relief, yet I already miss the class, the people, and my busy life style when I had French. Ah, this is human nature I guess, never satisfied. But I think this way is better, I need some time for myself and for home. So starting from today I’m going to re-organize my life according to my new schedule 🙂 If any of you is waiting for the result of a certain test then I hope you all pass and get high grades 🙂

June 14 2004

Fear

Everywhere I look around me, I see fear controlling people. It’s rare to find someone living without fear. This is the sad truth that a lot of us pretend to ignore.
Our acts, our movements and our sayings, they’re all put in action after we’re given the green light from our brains, our brains that keep thinking, assuming and looking at all possible reactions or results of the things we’re about to say or do, and after this quick (and sometimes very slow) scan is done, our brains finally give us the green light, or command us to stop and forget about it.
I hear people say: “money is power you can’t fear when you have power”. But I find them living in fear of losing that power. I hear people shout: “we fear nothing, we tell the truth and say what’s right”, and what a coincidence! It turns out the truth they tell is the same one of the ones with power, and the right they see, is what others before them saw was right! Yeah, they fear nothing, they’re just scared to cross the lines of those stronger than them, or put new rules different than those put by those before them.
I hear people scream: “we fear no one but God”, to discover later on that God has become a high position or a fat stuffed wallet. I hear people laugh saying: “we fear no one, even God”, to find out they fear everything including God.
Everyone today is full of fear. Fear of losing wealth, fear of having bad reputation, fear of being neglected, fear of losing love, fear of getting sick, fear of not getting enough attraction, fear of finding no help, fear of losing power, fear of becoming older, fear of getting fatter, fear of becoming uglier, fear of being lost, fear of being hurt, fear of getting killed, fear of being dumped, fear of being loved, fear of being misunderstood, fear of risk, fear of this, fear of that… FEAR! It’s because of fear that we hide instead of showing up, lie instead of telling truth, hurt instead of love, runaway instead of standing up for ourselves and standing by others, kill instead of save, attack instead of defend, and it’s because of fear that we go down instead of going up.
Fear is a part of us. It’s ok to have it as long as it wont affect others and as long as it wont control your personality. This is the healthy kind of fear. The kind that makes us better people, more careful ones. But when fear becomes an illness and lets us act according to it, force us to lie and hurt because of it, then this is definitely the destructive kind of fear.
Be strong, believe in yourself, believe that you were created for a reason, be careful, but never surrender to the destructive fear. Because if you do, you can’t imagine how ugly, meaningless and lost you will be…

Category: General | LEAVE A COMMENT
June 14 2004

OMAR

Is the name of the younger boy of my sister. Today he becomes one year old. And although I haven’t seen much of this boy, but the few moments I spent with him were more than enough to make me feel so close and attached to him. He’s so good looking, so naughty and so so loveable, just like his brother Hammoude 🙂 By now he should be on his way to make his first steps, and to pronounce his first few letters, GOD I DIDN’T WANT TO MISS THAT!!!
A sweet coincidence is that Omar and his brother were born both on the 14th, and on Saturday. Only Omar was born in June, when Mohamad was born in April 🙂
Anyway, I wont let his birthday pass just like that, I will CELEBRATE 🙂 yes, I will, I’m going to play the video my sis sent me of him, his brother and our whole family… thank you sis, this tape is keeping me alive.
And well, HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMMOURA, may God bless you with health, happiness and a long life 🙂

June 14 2004

A Twist In Weather

I still can’t believe it. Last week and till yesterday, it was sunny and hot. People already went swimming, everyone had this “summer spirit” until this morning! Yes, today it started raining, the weather is cold and the sun has decided to hide. And now I knew weather will continue to be that cool until Friday!
Last year June was hot and there were no days in which it became that cold. Weird!
Well, no problem with me, although I’ve got into my sunny mood 😉 Anyway, such a weather is beautiful for staying home and watching TV.

June 11 2004

Every Friday

On the end of every week I find myself feeling so happy, I count the seconds till it’s finally 5 p.m. Every Friday I say to myself: I will rest this time, I’ll spend my weekend relaxing and enjoying myself. Then I add some housework to use the advantage of being home. Every Friday I can’t wait till it’s time for “La Yomall” which is a program on Future TV, “La Yomall” means: something you can’t get bored of, it’s so damn funny and criticizes a lot of things in our life. I just love that show. It makes me laugh from the heart. I remember this time when my husband and I were watching this episode about the sticky kind of salesmen, LOOOOOOL! We were on the ground laughing like crazy, with tears filling our faces, LOOOL! It was simply AMAZING. I even called my family to let them watch it, looool 😛 it was wonderful. And I love it when they imitate singers and celebrities 😛 they’re some really talented actors. You can watch it at 7:30 p.m. (Tunis Time 😉 ). If you don’t watch it, then you’re missing some big time.
And although I’m not much into Miss Lebanon 2004 Reality TV, yet I love the primes with their decorations, their dances and the shows. Unfortunately it’s the same time of “La Yomall”. But can watch either of them some other times too. “La Yomall” is available on Friday again at 12:00 a.m. (Tunis Time) and Miss Lebanon 2004 Prime is to be watched on Saturday night I guess, not sure though.
Lol, there is this funny thing about Friday that I always do, which is trying to stay up all night watching TV, when in fact, and after a busy day, I can’t but fall asleep as usual around 11:30 p.m. That is sad, I love the night life of weekends, but still I love waking up early on Saturday, knowing I have the whole day without having to go to work, wow, what a great feeling. I wonder why don’t they give us a whole 3 days for weekend, or an extra day off in the middle of the week. I love weekends, and I hate to feel them pass quicker than the rest of the week!
Anyway, I wish you all a happy weekend, enjoy yourselves and have fun 🙂

June 11 2004

The Oral Exam Was A SHOCK!

My oral test was at 6, I did all my best to be there on time, and I was there at 5:50 🙂 I found my colleagues there talking about possibilities of the questions to be posed in the oral exam, then discussing what they’re planning to do in the holidays and stuff like that. The teacher called us to begin, and we had to wait along with other students of other levels. Imagine only 100 out of at least 300 students passed the written test. We waited all in the same room. There were 4 rooms, 2 teachers in each.2 students, one from the class of each teacher. Outside, where the 100 were waiting together. I hated the chaos. All students were talking so loudly, around 10 smoking in the small room, others talking on the mobile… etc, without respecting the teachers inside, nor the calm environment the students inside need. The second thing was the lack of order from the side of the teachers, they didn’t call out for names to come in, instead, they relied on the student’s fighting skills to be able to reach the door before others so that when the one inside gets out, the other would immediately force him/herself inside. If they had a list with names ordered according to alphabets then there wont be pushing or fighting on who’s turn is it. Anyway, I was so tired, didn’t prepare anything, unlike my other friends 🙁 and I was like: ok, I know what I know, whether I wait or not, my performance in the exam will still be the same, so let me get over it as soon as I can. After 7 students, each staying around 20-30 minutes, I found myself inside the room. It turned out, I had to choose a peace of paper with around 5 lines explaining the subject to discuss. There were more than 100 pieces, and I had only 2 minutes to make a choice. Every time I pick one I return it immediately, either because it’s way too silly and wont give a good impression, or because I didn’t understand what the hell they’re talking about, or because I just didn’t think I’d be able to say something about the subject suggested. Anyway time was up, and I randomly picked a paper, which turned out to be about WAR!! I had 5-7 minutes to put something together and prepare for what I’d say. Meanwhile another student (who’s been through what I’ve been through) would be discussing his choice of the topic with the teachers in the same room. I must say it was the worst 7 minutes at all. I read the paper over and over again. The paper said, I had to show whether I’m with or against war, why’s that? And what are other solutions in case I was against war. I squeezed my brain to form a complete sentence, but I had nothing other than: “je suis contre la guerre” (I’m against war). Now why, and what other options there are to solve people’s problems, I had the ideas, but the words I’d say…NO DAMN IDEA!! So I lost hope in preparing for something to say and started praying to God! Anyway, it was my turn, my face was tomato-red, and all I did was smile. They were like: ok begin. I started by representing myself, and at that moment I don’t know what the hell has happened, I talked and talked and talked, my teacher was so proud yet SHOCKED, while the other teacher looked as if she was hypnotized, she was staring at me, with a big smile on her face. I don’t know how that happened, but I found myself talking with no problems (not without grammar mistakes :D) discussing the type of work I do, what I think of French, my problem in having no time to study at home, and then started talking about war, my opinion of it, my feelings towards it, the many disadvantages of it, listing the effects of war on economy, education, social and professional life, as well as the creativity and productivity of people, putting expressions I’ve never used here, adding some definitions I never expected to know there, discussing the failure of war in Palestine and Iraq, mentioning other ways to solve problems, and thanking my teacher for being patient with us, all this came out of my mouth while I had the most shocked face ever, because I really didn’t know how I managed! but I did it, all in 10 minutes, they did not ask a SINGLE question, they were both smiling and the hypnotized teacher was like: I don’t know, your words had me picturing war and feeling its destruction, but still your way of expressing yourself was so confident and simple that I really enjoyed your discussion! Thank you and come and get your result on Monday.
I came out and no one believed I was done in that short time! I gave them some helping tips 😉 no that isn’t cheating 😛 and then got a cab home.
Hmmm, it felt great to have many things to say without the trouble of looking for words 🙂 I don’t care about how good my result will be, what I did yesterday was enough for me to feel pleased with my French knowledge at this level 🙂

June 10 2004

Few Minutes From The Life Of A Proud Palestinian

Yesterday and while watching the news there was this recording which captured a few minutes of an experience of 6 Palestinians. They were walking towards a tank with soldiers who were trying to destroy their home. They were unarmed, and walked all the way just to say no, and try to stop the tank. Unfortunately we’re used to watching Palestinian homes destroyed everyday, and we’re used to watching Palestinians trying to stand up and save their homes and families, but the special thing about what I’ve seen yesterday was this old man, around his late 70’s, barely standing up, skinny, with shaking hands, a curved back, looks so weak and helpless, when in fact he is the one holding together the other 5 young men, his sons. Yes, this old man was walking hand in hand with the 5 young men, and every time a soldier points the gun at them and every minute the tank comes closer, he holds his sons tighter and tighter, so full of courage, so full of determination to save a home he’s spent his whole life building, brick by brick. A home in which he spent days and nights of sweet and bitter memories, and now after 70 years and more, it makes no sense for him to give up after his sons have grown into men, and after the little seeds he’s planted have grown into a beautiful garden to feed his family and neighbors. His steps were so powerful, unlike his weak tired body; his head was left up high, unlike his spirit; and his hands were pressing so tight, so strong, putting all his efforts to make his old feet bare him for a little longer, and make his legs tolerate a few more steps further… but there came a soldier, respecting no age, caring for no feelings, showing no sympathy to those who are trying to save their home, there came he, to hit one of the brave sons, he hit him with the back of his weapon, forcing him to fall unconscious on the ground with blood covering his face. The other 4 sons tried to carry their brother, never a better moment to attack them, and so it was, the tank started moving fast and 3 soldiers were backing it up from outside, while the young men were trying to carry their brother out of the way so he wont be run over, not aware that the other 3 soldiers have made up their mind to kill them all. The only one aware was the old man, who has gathered few stones from the ground of his own garden to throw on the tank in an attempt to stop them from taking the lives of his boys and then take his home away. He threw and threw and threw, until one could see nothing but the 4 young men carrying their bleeding brother in their arms, running to their shut old father who was pointing at the house with his hand and saying: the house, watch out for the house…
It wasn’t clear where he got shut, therefore, I couldn’t tell whether he died or fell unconscious, all what was clear, is that despite all efforts, the garden was destroyed, a very big part of the house fell down and the reporter was taken away for investigation. Now what makes an old man get out of his home, gather his sons, walk with them hand in hand, paying all that effort in pulling himself together and supporting his sons not to surrender to the destruction of their home, to face the tank, the weapons and soldiers with nothing in their hands but few small stones? What makes him so determined and so full of courage to say NO! GO AWAY! What makes him resist till the very last breath? It’s not the love of cameras and media, as some pathetic losers try to convince us, and it’s sure not for fun, it’s for only two simple reasons: belief and responsibility.
The man believes he has the right to have a home, protect that home and fight for it. He believes that no one should steal his effort, his right, and his passion. He believes he should never lose hope in peace, never lose hope in a normal life, never lose hope in fulfilling his dreams. And above all that, he feels the responsibility towards his home and family. He feels responsible for their safety and security, he feels responsible for keeping hope in them, and responsible for giving the right example of a man of honor, a man of word, a man of principle. With all the suffering and hard circumstances, he was an idol for his sons, he was the symbol of life, sacrifice, pride, courage, faith and hope. He lived all his life like that, and he wanted to die like that. If he really died, then he lost nothing, it’s humanity who lost such a unique person who still have the beautiful meanings of survival and continuity. And if he lived, then he will continue to fight and struggle, he will re-build a home to gather his family, he will plant new trees, with their roots, these trees will hug the ground that is watered with the blood of his beloved people day after day after day.
This is the proud Palestinian, and this is how Palestinians will always be. May God be with them all, help them survive and give them peace. May the world be fair to them even for once in a lifetime… Amen!