This is something so normal yet annoying in human nature. In most cases we have to lose someone or something to know the value of that person or thing.
We don’t realize how much someone means to us until they’re gone. We don’t appreciate something we posses until it’s lost or destroyed.
When we live with someone, or have a certain kind of relationship that gives us the chance to meet them regularly or hear from them so often, we find ourselves being so positive that they’ll be there forever. It goes without saying, that people automatically feel secure and free of worries when they’re around their beloved ones. And this feeling of security makes them feel free to deal with their beloved ones the way they like. We give ourselves the right of constant complaining, negative criticizing, silly blaming, rude offending, and depressive under-estimating.
How many times a day do you go to work feeling like shit because you can no longer take your roommate’s annoying habits? How many times do you go to school wishing you’ll never have to return back home and see your parents? How many times a day do you complain about your job? How many times a day do you regret getting married or engaged to your partner? How many times do you wish you’ll go back in time to make different decisions and have a “better” life? And how many other times do you wish you’ll skip this period you’re living now and jump into future to forget about your awful past? How many times do you wish and hope and pray?
We always want more open-minded parents, better brothers, better sisters, more trusty friends, more interesting teachers, more loyal employees, more understanding employers, more polite neighbors, richer husbands, sexier fiancé(e)s, cuter kids, a classier neighborhood, a nicer apartment, a bigger house, a newer car, a more modern mobile, more money, more fame, and a better luck.
We forget that we’re not perfect, and that others might be thinking of getting rid of us to replace us with better ones. We take it for granted that we’ll always have the “unsatisfying” amount of money we have now, and that we’ll always get to wake up every morning on the voices of our sisters, the singing of our brothers and the faces of our parents. We’re so sure that we’ll be having a lifetime career, and be around the same colleagues for as long as we’ll live. We never doubt that our partners might be the ones who aren’t happy with us, or that we look ugly to our kids or be disloyal to our friends. We always believe that we’re the best and that others will have to accept us the way we are. We always think of our needs and how to make things better for us. What if the choices we make will hurt the ones around us and make their life worse? Who cares? The whole world is made for us to enjoy the way we want. We’re smarter and more mature than others, we are the ones to rule. They don’t know where their interest actually is, but we know where our interests and theirs are, so we’re the decision makers by default.
But then a day comes when you feel so lonely, so helpless, so lost, and so not in the right place. Only then you’ll realize how stupid you were when you’ve hated who you were once. How dumb you were when you sold the most meaningful parts of your life to afford a fancy you and buy some “this is what I want” crap.
It’s only when it’s impossible to go back that you’d realize how blind you were when you exchanged what’s real with what’s fake. And only then you’ll regret your choices and hate your decisions and start a new series of wishes. Wishes that might come true, and others that might never be fulfilled.
Therefore and before it becomes too late, you have to know how to make a wish, why to make a wish, and for what to wish. When it comes to money never compare yourself with who are richer, look down at the ones who are poorer. And when it’s about other non-financial ambitions, never look down, but look as high as you can. When you want to make a wish, wish for good health, sanity and strength. You need nothing more than those to make your dreams come true and be a better you. Always remember that you’re not perfect, and so are the rest of the world. There will always be ones better than you one way or the other. But there will always be ones who will see you better than them, and ones who’ll see you worse, and ones who’ll see you as equal. Stick to those who love you the way you are, and who’ll advice you when you need help. Learn to compromise, it’s not wrong as long as it wont change your principles and wont hurt your dignity. Never lose hope in improving, but never live on the hope of becoming better. And most important of all, you have to learn to appreciate what you have when you still have it, don’t wait for it to be gone.
Because it is difficult to get along with someone without having problems, but you have to know that it’s more difficult to lose that someone, yet the most difficult thing is to spend your life in regret for not being fair to that someone you lost, and it’s even worse to get used to missing that someone every month, every week, each day, 24 hours, and with every passing minute.
So, here you go: you should know what you’ve got… before you and it are gone!

One of the most creative people I’ve ever known. She has those really impressive ideas and always creates new stuff on her own. It just amazes me!
She comes up with a certain idea and then applies it with what’s available in her hands. And she’s never out of new inventions and surprises.
Simple material, handmade art, and warm touches of elegance and love. Picture frames, cards, table sets, pillows, food accessories, chocolate wraps, stands, and much more.
All of this is the result of personal effort and a unique talent. She didn’t go to art school, nor did she participate in art-related courses. It all comes out from her head.
I can’t believe how she creates wonderful pieces of art with very simple material. And I wonder, what it would be like if she actually got to learn fine art or if she is able to use the technology of today in her beautiful productions. But she can’t because of so many reasons, the most important is having no time to spend on learning, as she’s always busy taking care of all of us, no matter how near or far. And well, I guess she’s not friends with computers 😉
And what makes us so proud of her is that regardless of sickness, old age, worries, problems, and responsibilities, she always finds the time to create new beautiful things to surprise us with every now and then. Pieces of art that can never be found anywhere else, not only because of their new ideas, but also because of the unique hands that made them, the one of a kind love that wrapped them and the true feelings that labeled them, giving each piece its own beauty and its own special taste.
Thank you mom…

So I got the results of the French test, and yippeee I did it, I passed and was the fourth highest mark in the class, lol, I sound like kids. Anyway, when handing out the papers the teacher asked me: “ you were the only one who got a full mark in comprehension, and you got the highest mark in composition, but you have a problem with the grammar, you should work harder on it. I don’t know why is that? French is a very logical language”. It was only then when I remembered the funny discussions about the logic of French that my husband and I have, what we “students” say about its logic and what Zizou mentioned in one of his comments about his friends saying that the beauty of French is in its weird logic.
Once I remembered all this I couldn’t hold back my laugh, and I’ve noticed that when I laugh the whole class including our teacher, they all start laughing and find it really difficult to stop.
She said to me: “come on Eman, you’ve learned GERMAN, don’t try to convince me French is more difficult!!”
The thing I can’t actually explain is that no matter how something is really difficult, if I get to understand its logic then it becomes a matter of hard work for me to learn. Which reminds me of a teacher in Jordan with whom I had a course in the basics of the French language. He was awesome, a great teacher indeed, but he had only one little problem when he wanted to encourage us to learn more vocabulary. He used to give us the lyrics of a certain song, play the song for us repeatedly and then ask us to learn the words by heart for next time. Then he gives us a quiz next lesson asking us to write down the words. And my problem is I can never learn anything by heart unless I understand the meanings, that’s how my brain functions. I told him that I must know the meanings to be able to remember the words. He didn’t want to explain, and said it’s a new teaching method that was more effective, although I disagree with him, because I hate being treated as a computer where one can input data in my memory and that’s it. Anyway, I asked my husband, who was my fiancé back then and he interpreted the song for me, and I was the only one to get a full mark in the quiz, so the teacher was like: “so now you’re convinced that my method works?” and I answered: “now I’m sure it doesn’t!”. I mean I was the only one with the full mark, others didn’t even pass!
I guess it’s always better to make the students learn after understanding what they’re actually learning, and even if the teacher don’t give meanings, one should look them up in the dictionary by himself.
But well, I love the sound of French, it has this melody in it, it’s nice, and when the teacher tested our reading yesterday I was rated very good, although my husband is convinced that I speak French in a German accent, lol, yes, he heard me reading loudly once, and I was pronouncing “culture” as “kultur” and “sud” as “süd”, lol. Even the teacher, whose mother is German, was shocked when I said
“Psychologie” in German pronouncing the “cho” as “sho” and the “gie” as “g” instead of “j”. So it sounded “p-sy-sho-lo-gee”, lol, and the problem is that every time I make such a mistake I realize what I’ve done, which makes me feel so embarrassed, and the rest of the class go like: “what’s wrong with her? Why does she always have this weird way of pronouncing words?”, and this is enough for me and for the teacher to start laughing like crazy.
And although I reach home exhausted, but I must say that I owe this course big time.

This is a question I keep on asking myself every time I’m put in a situation that forces me to use different types of keyboards. Why didn’t they include keyboards in their European Union?
When I’m at work, I have to use the English keyboard. In an Internet café I have to use the French one, and when I want to write in German I have to use the German one.
And every time I get used to one of them and then need to use the other, I find a lot of difficulty adapting, because I hate writing slowly and I hate spending time picking letters.
And what I hate the most is when I actually have no German keyboard for example, but an English one, and then need to write in German after a while in which I never wrote one German word, so I switch the language and use the English keyboard to write using the “hidden” German letters. GOD!! I go crazy trying to look for the letters. But well, I found out a way to help make things easier, which is trying to write more often in all three languages. That doesn’t solve the problem but it helps make it less annoying.
I mean why should (q) and (a), (w) and (z) switch places? and why should commas and question marks be moved here and there?
What I wish for is that European countries will invent some kind of a keyboard that has a feature of turning letters into all different varieties of all European languages by having to click on something, or press on two different keys or anything.
Having a European Keyboard Union would be the best thing ever to happen to me.

Finally I can go home watch T.V without getting this annoying feeling of guilt when I have a test to prepare to 🙂 It was fine, veeeery long, it was supposed to be 2 hours and a half but I was the first to leave after 1 hour 45 minutes. That doesn’t mean I will get a full mark, it only means that I wrote down what I’ve got, which could be right or wrong. I didn’t stay because I revised what I wrote and I couldn’t think of better answers. So no matter how long I’d keep on revising there is no use, my brain was totally blocked. Specially that I had a very busy day at work, and couldn’t catch the buss on time, so I reached the center feeling so damn exhausted.
Anyway, to everybody’s surprise, I answered the most difficult questions so quick, and the medium ones with this annoying (accord) were the ones who took me so long, lol, I hate them and I don’t know if what I wrote was write or wrong. I’m just not convinced with the logic of anything. There is no connection between any two things, lol, it’s terrible.
And what actually shocked me was the wrong impression my colleagues have a about me. They believe I’m a language genius, lol, the minute I entered the class, and although I was 15 minutes late, everyone started moving their chairs next to me, so imagine how 20 people manage to be around one person one way or the other, lol, I can’t believe it, and the teacher could do nothing but laugh at first, lol, afterwards she forced everyone to leave some space.
I’m the kind of people who don’t care if others copy my papers, although I’m against cheating, it’s just that I find it better if they copy instead of annoying me with their whispering questions. But poor them, they had no chance as the teacher was so strict, the only one who was able to cheat very very well and which we think will be the only one who will get a full mark is a girl who used her mobile to message her boyfriend who masters 5 languages perfectly, lol. And the teacher was too busy taking care of the ones around me, leaving a great chance for the girl to send and receive messages as much as she liked.
I hope everyone did great, and that we’ll all pass. And I hope they change their idea about me, because I’m sure they were disappointed. Anyway, the test is over, but I still have an (exposé), a presentation that each has to make about their countries for about 15 minutes. And I was the only one to talk about two countries, lucky me huh, so I had my presentation last Thursday, I talked for 2 1/2 hrs till my voice was gone and still I wasn’t done. They were all excited, asking questions, commenting and all, which I think means I was successful, but because they loved it and because they seem to like the way I do presentations with all those brochures and stuff, the teacher asked me to continue speaking next time. I wish it wont take another 2 1/2 hrs though.
Anyway, a last word from me to all of you who have tests, please don’t cheat, coz it’s not about how many marks you get, and it’s not about how good others think you are, it’s all about testing your knowledge and skills so you can have a clear picture and know what things you should work harder on. And good luck to all.

So tomorrow I have a French test 🙁 and since I work from 8 till 5:30 and have my lessons from 6:30 till 8:30 twice a week, there is so little time left for me to study what we actually learn. So I can say that I’m SO WELL PREPARED for tomorrow’s test 🙂
I don’t know why I’m not friends with French. I like the way it sounds, it is a classy language, but I’m not convinced with its structure. I mean there is no logic in the language the way I see it. We get a grammar rule, which applies to 20% of the cases and then we take the exceptions, which happen to be the remaining 80%!!! We’d be concentrating in the teacher’s explanation, she’d give us a rule and then go like: “now there are SOME exceptions. Open page 102 in the book, see, from that page till page 105 you’ll find all exceptions concerning THIS RULE ONLY!!”.
And the tenses, GOD!!! They’re so many, and very complicated. Look at English for example, it’s so practical, they have many tenses, but almost all of them are used regularly. Not like French, they have so many tenses and only few are the ones used in daily life. Also German, which have really difficult structure and many grammar rules, and 3 genders, it is difficult, but still it’s very logical, you have clear rules, you follow them, learn the few exceptions by heart and that’s it.
And what annoys me most in French is the unpronounced letters!!! (parle) is pronounced like (parlent), which is pronounced like (parles)!! (Essuyer) is pronounced just like (essuyez)! (femme) is pronounced like (femmes)!!Why the hell do they write them if they’re not gonna pronounce them! To differentiate their positions in syntax? ok, why don’t they invent a whole new word or add a letter that will be pronounced, or a preposition or any damn thing so it becomes easier for the one listening to distinguish words!! For God’s sake, the teacher dictates us and I end up writing a text of repeated words!! How would a beginner who’s still learning basics figure out that the teacher meant (imparfait) and not (passé composé)? Specially when she’s speaking 10 words in 1 second, words of which we know only a couple!
I was shocked from my first day in French. In our FIRST lesson, we were taking the groups of verbs and how to recognize them by their endings. And because of some similarities between the second and third groups, the teacher gave us a rule: “if the verb takes (iss) with (nous) then it means it belongs to the second group, for example we say (nous partons) and (nous rougissons) so (partir) is of the third group and (rougir) is of the second”. Now how the hell would we know that it takes (iss) and doesn’t remain as it is? It’s our problem, we MUST learn by heart!! Then why give us a useless rule from the start??… Nobody knows!
Not to forget the (y) and (en) that replace certain phrases, and the (t) added to connect two words, or the (g) added to make the word sound “lighter”, and the (h) that they pronounce as an (A), and the (liaison) between the last letter in a word and the vowel after it, and, and, and…
After around 3 months of learning, I can understand French much better than before, and I enjoy the French movies and programs more. I am able to write a simple text, and I can manage speaking certain kinds of conversations. But still I think English and German are more practical. Or maybe the fact that I was free of other responsibilities when I learned them made it easier for me to obtain the language better. Whatever the reason, I believe that languages were created to communicate and French was created to complicate!
Anyway, let’s just hope I pass tomorrow 😉