February 6 2004

Faces

Such a great effect they posses. They aren’t just some pleasant or unpleasant appearances, nor are they some recognition features. They are much more than that. Faces are meanings, they’re feelings. They’re time, they’re history and they’re present. But they’re never to be a future, for you can never guess what faces you’ll encounter, or which will surround you a second from now.
Faces are surprises, they’re memories, and they’re experience. They’re your hope, if not, then they’re your disappointment. Yet some are just meaningless faces, postures you’ve seen, or you’re still seeing, that make no difference in your life and add nothing to its value.
Faces… aren’t they such a riddle!

When I first came to Tunisia, I felt so strange. I knew no one at all. It was as if I was thrown out of some different planet. And on my discovery walks, I saw hundreds of faces, not a single one I knew. It was ok with me at first, I knew the time will come when I’ll get to recognize some of those faces. But in a very short while, I started feeling lonely. I had no relationship to connect me with any of the faces I saw. I wished I had someone really close to me who’d ask me what’s wrong with me just from a look at my face. I hoped one would understand I’ve heard great news just by encoding my smile. Afterwards, I got to recognize some faces, like the security man in the building, the mini market woman, the post office workers and some other faces in some other shopping stores and libraries. But no one was able to be close to me, although some were really nice to me.
I look at myself now, now that I’ve got to recognize so many faces, and I wonder what they mean, and how I feel about them.
In the bus I notice faces around me that I don’t know. Through the bus window I see even more I don’t know; but still I come across few which I actually recognize. In my office I see new faces each day, at the same time, I see many old ones. In my neighborhood I recognize some, and yet many are just a mystery.
When I go shopping, I see a lot of familiar faces across the streets, I might even come across people I visit, who are very few, and the chance to meet them outside by accident is even fewer!
Now that I know much more than before, I found out that adding more faces to your memory album makes a big difference.
Faces that you never knew before are the ones that remind you of very bad experiences you had few days ago. Faces that rang no bells before, are the ones which make you feel so confused and lost now. Faces which you never saw before, are the ones who left ugly scars in your beautiful heart. Faces that belonged to no one significant, are the ones which belong to people you avoid seeing again. Faces that were just some features put together, are now the ones that make you insane.
Many faces you know now helped adding to your disgust. Many others took big portions of your love and used out your trust, but very few gave you the love, loyalty and appreciation you needed in return.
Many faces that had no place in your personal dictionary are now being translated into covers -synonym to masks- hiding exactly the opposite of what they reveal.
I’ve always believed that a person’s face is the mirror of their souls. It reflects their feelings and moods as well as their health. I thought it was the key to their personality and that you can predict their reactions to a certain thing from their faces. But as days pass by, I started understanding that faces aren’t always that clear, in fact they could be really misleading.
I’ve always believed that knowing no faces causes loneliness, but now I found out that the less you know of them, the less the chance is to get hurt or deceived. I guess older generation don’t agree with me, they have the right to. In their time faces were what made life worth living.
In my life some few faces have made their way to the bottom of my heart so long ago, and very little kept their places over there up till now. One face I’m lucky to have in front of me all the time, and some I’m so unlucky to have chosen to be far from; and life was too cruel to take the rest, not only from their places but also from my whole life.
There are faces that I still remember every single detail of, and there are some which left me nothing but the memory of their outer contours. I don’t know if I’d ever get to meet them again, will I be able to recognize them? or will I just pass right next to them without even knowing they’re the ones I once knew.
I might recognize their faces, but would they recognize mine? Do they even remember it now as I write this? Did my face ever mean something significant to them from the very beginning? Or was it just a shape they saw, a shape like all other shapes.
I have so many questions that are left unanswered, but at the end of the day I know, that there will always be good and bad faces. I know that just like there are ones I carry with me all the time, there are ones which have taken the picture of my face and kept it somewhere safe and sound. I know that there are ones that appreciate my features and miss my face just as much as I appreciate and miss theirs. I know there are eyebrows that tighten up every day worrying about me. I know there are eyes that see my face all the time, even when I’m not there; and eyes that release precious tears for missing me, or for being happy for me. I know there are ears that hear my voice every day, even if it was just an echo. I know there are noses that still smell the memories of a fresh spring morning they spent with me. I know there are lips that call my name every minute, even if they can barely remember it. I know there are cheeks that brighten every morning just for the thought of me. I know there are foreheads that are bent every night for not hearing from me. I know there are faces that will lighten up just because they saw me.
Faces that love me, wrinkles that are proud of me, fresh baby skin that smiles at me. Faces that will never give up their places in my heart. They might be few, they might be near, they might be far, but they exist, and this is what matters the most to me.
Those are the faces that make my life worth living…

February 4 2004

So Unhealthy Me

Ever since I’ve started working in Tunisia and I’ve never went to work one day feeling fresh and active. I don’t know why I never seem to get enough sleep during the weekend ALTHOUGH I sleep a lot. Maybe it’s because I have a lot of things to do during the week so I end up really exhausted and the sleep I get on the weekend can’t make up for it. Or it could be that I’ve become a lazy person and no matter how much sleep I get I’d still want more. Like the other night, I woke up to drink water, the wind was blowing, the whole neighborhood as dark as the deep of an ocean and the bedroom as warm and calm as I love it to be. I get back to bed and just as I hug the soft warm covers and close my eyes the alarm goes: trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn, trrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn! I wished I had the power to hold back the sun from rising and stop time for only one more hour. I was sooo sleepy and I really needed more, but well, I had to go get prepared for work.
Anyway, thank God that the minute I enter the office I am no longer sleepy, or at least for the first couple of hours 😛 And then this annoying and embarrassing feeling gets into me, you know this feeling when your eyes get red and you feel them burning and you can’t tolerate light or screens or anything, you suddenly lose the strength to hold them wide open and you either have this stupid smile on your face, or a pathetic frown as an attempt to give the impression that you’re seriously working, loool, I experience that a lot.

Going back in time when I used to work in Jordan, I remember that weekends like that, when you feel you still need more sleep, were so few. I used to go to work in the beginning of the week so fresh and active, have had enough sleep and big time on the weekend, I couldn’t but be so active and so energetic.
To me, I hate being lazy, and all who knows me calls me “restless”, I’m not used to spending a lot of time in bed, and I’m always so energetic and feel like doing a lot of activities I love. But looking at myself now, I noticed that not only laziness got into me, but even my health got worse. I get sick once and I need ages to recover which is so bad. I got tired of being sick. So I decided to look for the reason behind all this. I made a little comparison between me now and before, and I found out that I’ve been having some really UNHEALTHY habits nowadays. Like for example, I used to drink all kinds of tea: red, green, herbal tea… etc. I loved coffee with milk and I used to drink a cup every day. And I drank all hot drinks with so little sugar. But now I drink tea once or twice a week, and I drink coffee at least twice a day. I put 2 to 3 teaspoons of sugar in a cup, and this is so bad.
I used to eat a lot of vegetables, now and although I try my best to eat vegetables, but I’m not eating as much as I’d love to.
I used to do a lot of sport: have really long walks, swim, play tennis, exercise at home, but now it’s different. Actually, thinking of it, I really don’t know how I’m still in shape when I’m eating double the quantity I used to earlier, AND with all the FastFood I stuff myself with. But I guess it’s because I walk a lot; from work to bus stations, from home to the mini-market; I try to use my feet as much as I can instead of transportation devices, but still this isn’t enough. And it doesn’t compare to walking in green areas breathing fresh air!
Add to all this the weather which I’m still not friends with. Winter here is too strong for me, although I’ve traveled a lot, and I’ve visited really cold places, but in Tunisia it’s something else, the cold here united with humidity, cuts its way straight to the bones. It’s unbelievable.
Anyway, let’s not blame the weather, as I discovered I’ve been living unhealthy, and I decided to do something about it. Starting from today my eating and drinking habits must change, I should get more fresh air and I should rest enough. Lol, talking is easy, but no, I’m gonna stick to it, and God knows I’m so determined.
So Good luck for me I guess, and to all of you out there, take care of yourselves, eat healthy and look after your well-being.

January 28 2004

Yoga Obsession

With this fast pace life is taking, and with all the stress we’re experiencing nowadays, a lot of people have decided to lead healthy happy lives. So they’ve started eating healthier, they’ve started exercising more, and they’ve been trying to invest in their free time for the good of their well-being.
Gyms are suddenly stuffed with people, media is being paid fortunes for healthy food publicity, and last but not least YOGA got itself a place on top of almost everybody’s interests.
Most of the people I know attend Yoga sessions. A lot of them earn a living teaching it.
TVs show Yoga Classes.
Magazines write about Yoga.
Movies have Yoga scenes in them.
Websites are FULL of Yoga Instructions from A to Z.
A lot of Celebrities have made Yoga their Nr. 1 Hobby.
Doctors advise their stressed patients to try out Yoga.
Beauty Experts encourage women to take Yoga classes in order to keep fit and young.
Sports Professionals say all people of all ages are capable of Yoga.
A lot of people think that Yoga is modern and sexy.
I am one of the people who was so curious and wanted to know everything about Yoga. I read books and searched the web, and bought magazines that had self-teaching courses. I even tried it out myself. To be honest, when I first started I wasn’t that happy with it, simply because I don’t like spending much time on one thing, I’m used to have 100 things to do in the same time and most of the days I’m in a hurry. So when I first started, my first exercises were for meditation and concentration. I had to do this certain body shape and focus on one point. And the course composer wrote: “you have to ask yourself SILENTLY: {how do I feel now} both before and after you finish this exercise. And you have to answer QUIETLY.”
I did this shape and concentrated on a green plant in front of me to achieve perfect relaxation. And asked myself the question silently and answered quietly: “I feel stressed out, and need to relax.” I had to stay 15 minutes, and on the count of minute 3 I was like: “Hmm, is it my watch that isn’t actually ticking, or is it time that’s passing too damn slow!!! no, no, I should relax and I’m not supposed to even think of time”.
Two minutes later I wondered: “Am I supposed to stay like this all that long! Ok let me try to free my mind from any thoughts and see how I’d feel”.
Minute 10 comes, I get crazy and feel like tearing apart the green plant with its annoying little leaves, which were getting on my nerves every time the wind blew. I looked at the trainer’s pic and said to him LOUDLY: “Wanna know how I feel you stupid loser! This is how I feel: I’m CALM (while throwing the magazine on the ground) I’m HAPPY (while stepping over the magazine with anger) I have found my center (while throwing the pillows on the floor) and I’m totally COOL, I just feel like KILLING somebody.”
Yep, I was Ms. Stress. I just thought it was a waste of time.
But once you get used to Yoga, and once you apply it properly when you’re seriously willing to relax and when you have the time for it, then you’ll truly enjoy its results.
As for me, I never had enough time 😉 BUT I’m one of the obsessed ones; I’m so interested in Yoga and respect its principles.
So here is a piece of advice: if you wanna keep fit, healthy, young and sexy, if you wanna learn patience, and find peace for both your body and soul, there is nothing better than YOGA . Just make sure you have nothing breakable around you 😉

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January 26 2004

Things That Got On My Brothers’ Nerves ;)

In our lives we learn a lot from people around us, specially the ones who are close to us. And just like any one in this world, I have my good and my annoying attitudes which are noticed by others. Some comment, some give advice, some give compliments, some keep on interfering in every little detail and some say nothing at all.
My family consists of 7 members, the parents, 3 ladies and 2 young men. And I come exactly in the middle, I’m number THREE, but when it comes to trouble making, talkative tendencies and restlessness, then I am number ONE.
My two brothers were the ones who suffered most because of some of my habits. I wanted to simply write down those annoying things which used to really piss off my brothers, but then I thought: why not write what I learned from both of them and leave it to the readers to discover what actually got on their nerves.
I’ll start with my big bro first; he’s older than me, and ranks two in the family. A great young man who lives now in Canada. I learned really so much from him, although we didn’t have the chance to spend much time together as he traveled a lot and now he’s in a country and I’m living in another.
Big bro taught me:
1. While preparing for exams, best thing to keep you awake and fresh is a glass of lemonade (School Days). While you’re preparing for exams, nothing compares to a cup of hot Nescafe (first couple of years in university). While you’re preparing for your exams and you feel tired and can’t concentrate any longer, best way to cheer up is leave your books and go out for a while until you feel like studying again… if you don’t feel like studying again, then it doesn’t matter, don’t study at all, who cares (last two years of university).
2. When you catch cold drink 7UP.
3. Correction fluid is made to cover your mistakes ONCE so that you could correct them the next time you write. So when you use the correction fluid be FOCUSED ENOUGH to write the correct thing and stop making the SAME MISTAKE over and over again. (I was really clumsy in writing when I was a little girl. I loved using the correction fluid and used to cover the wrong word then write the same wrong word over it, cover it again and write the correct word but with a new spelling mistake, and so on, till my notebook looked very ugly with spots on the sheets to “engrave” rather than “write” on).
4. Vitamin Complexes are great. Make sure you take some every once in a while.
5. Don’t forget sports, it’s very important. (He goes regularly to the gym and loves sports specially weight lifting. And well, he did hell of a job:) ).
6. Fill your kitchen with cookies, they’re yummy.
7. Hair dryers are invented for two reasons: drying hair, and drying clothes (a very practical advice indeed).
8. Never look back. (I’ve been through a lot of bad times, and he’s been always there for all of us. And whenever I was hurt, or have been through a bad experience or failed to do something right, he’d say: sis, it’s over now, never look back, look forward instead, life goes on and you’ll survive somehow, nothing really matters).
9. Tuna sandwiches are the best. (he makes the best Tuna sandwiches ever, with this cheese and … ooops, I forgot it’s his secret recipe, so I guess I wont go on).
10. CLOSE THE CAR DOOR GENTLY WHEN YOU STEP OUT OF IT.
11. Whatever happens, keep cool and NEVER LOSE YOUR TEMPER.
12. A person should keep improving himself and his skills to reach the best positions.
13. Believe in your abilities and never let anyone under-estimate you.
14. You don’t have to get out ALL YOUR CLOTHES from the closet to choose what to wear today (an awful old habit of mine that I managed to get rid of).
15. Going out to Cafes with friends and family is wonderful. And best time to go to them is when it’s cold and raining outside.
16. Drive SLOWLY.
17. Never be ashamed of wearing glasses (I wasn’t ashamed of wearing glasses when I younger, it’s just that I never felt really cozy with them. I had my nose itching me because of them, and I felt there is this thing over my face that could fall and be broken when I jump or run. And just for the record, I always ended up breaking them one way or the other; when I was a kid that is). So when I’m older he suggested: Wear contacts for a change if you like (but still, one day I forgot to pour in enough solution and I ended up having a dried out lens, and it was torn apart), so he went like: Eman, nothing will work with you but disposable contacts. (And I thank him for this great advice).
18. Last but not least, never forget to thank God for everything.
By the way, my big bro has this unique sense of humor, loves us all as much as we love him, and is full of great things.
One of the things we really like about him is this one of a kind ability he has to speak a certain phrase in all languages. For example he’d say: “Good morning, how are you” in all languages, not by translating them, but by using the very same words. All he does is play with the speaking speed and the way he speaks out some letters according to his background of the language. It’s amazing. And of course he knows those frequently used words and expressions in some languages, and uses them in a very great way.
Other than that, he has another special thing, which is inventing names. So each one of the family and close friends has at least 2 new names. And mine are (along with Eman):
Emanza (no idea where he came out with it); Emanen (following German language structure applied to some words); and Eladeeja (no idea about the source either, and I don’t even know if I got it right :P).
I miss you so much bro, and I hope you’re doing great.

My second brother is younger than me, in fact he’s the youngest in the family, but he isn’t spoiled at all. Actually he is a very mature, kind and sweet young man. I spent more time with him than with my other brother, but I learned less from him because as he reached the peak of his maturity and understanding of life, I got my wedding ring and flew away.
So you can say I was the experienced one this time who should teach and not learn, but still I learned a lot of him.
Little bro taught me:
1. When you like a part of a certain song, there is no harm in playing it over and over and over again, even if the ones around you are going to kill you (loool, he did it constantly, and I couldn’t help laughing every time he did it. We learned songs by heart coz of him)
2. When you have an important thing to do in the morning and you know you wont wake up on time coz you worked all night long set your alarm at 7 a.m., when it goes off and you’re still sleepy, set it on 7:02, it goes off again, set it on 7:10 this time; it will go off again, so you set it on 7:13, in the end turn it off once and for all and enjoy your sleep… oh, and never think of the consequences.
3. Cook your meals with M E A T. And STOP PICKING OUT THE MEAT PIECES AND PUTTING THEM ASIDE! Because if there comes a day when you can’t afford buying meat, you’ll feel like killing yourself for not eating the ones you were offered earlier. (just for the record, he is TALENTED in cooking everything)
4. PLEASE CLOSE THE CAR DOOR GENTLY WHEN YOU STEP OUT OF IT (I guess both my brothers were suffering from this thing and hated me for that :P)
5. Create your own dances, even if the steps were too simple or too silly, as long as you enjoy them and think they’re great.
6. Laugh your head off whenever you can.
7. Study at night.
8. Be creative as much as you can and create things.
9. STOP listening to Techno and have a better taste in music.
10. Computer wasn’t made only for e-mails and chatting to your fiancé, you could surf, download stuff and apply a lot of things…SO WOULD YOU PLEASE SET FREE THE MACHINE FOR ONLY FEW MINUTES FOR GOD’S SAKE! (well, I never gave them the chance to work on it as I really spent the whole time online with my fiancé, who is my husband now 🙂 )
11. Stop being afraid of heights.
12. Stop worrying about others so much specially ME, and stop preaching me pleaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase!
13. You have to learn to GIVE UP sometimes. For example when the PC is not working, then you have to believe that it’s not working, in other words you should stop NAGGING on ME to get it working again, and when I say I have no time, then you should believe that you weren’t meant to touch the PC that day so you don’t have to go running to an internet café. And when you’re in an internet café and then the PC your working on goes mad all at a sudden and the whole e-mail you’ve written to your “Fiancé” wasn’t saved nor sent, then you should know that it’s obviously a sign from God not to go on. And when you change the machine to another one and then there is an electricity blackout in Amman, for one reason or the other then you should finally GIVE UP the idea of sending that email instead of WAITING for the electricity to come back.
14. Aren’t you fed up of asking me to lower the volume every time I listen to music?
My younger brother and I share this really bad habit, which is leaving everything to the last minute, mostly when it comes to studying. So when we have months to prepare for the exams, you’ll find us going out, watching TV and just having fun rather than preparing, and we only feel the responsibility one day before the exams.
He too has a great sense of humor. He’s so kind and nice to everyone. He learned working with computers earlier than me, as he used to spend all his time with my big brother. He is very smart, but never organized in scheduling. He hates to be interrupted when he’s in the middle of something. He has a great ability to learn languages and invents vocabulary of his own, which I find amazing. And he always asks me: “ Eman, could you please tell me why did you choose to study languages?”.
I miss you too and wish you’re doing great in your finals bro.
Well, regardless of the hard time I’ve given you both, and no matter how annoying I was, you both still miss me so much, right! 😉

January 5 2004

In Love With Me!

Yes, it’s true. Ever since I found out about this new love and I’ve discovered that this new “admirer” can’t let go with me. We spent new year’s eve together, we go to work together, we cook together, we watch TV together, and to cut it short, we started sharing everything together. That’s true; this madly in love with me is SICKNESS!
Yep, exactly two days after recovering from this strong cold I got, I got sick again, but this time I couldn’t move one cm. I stayed in bed for days. Couldn’t even open my eyes.
Once again I took days off from work, stayed at home, and took more and more medicine.
Without my husband’s help I don’t think I could’ve managed. Anyway, now I got only a little bit better as i can open my eyes normally and write. I got back to work finally and hope that things will get better.
I must say I missed that blog…

December 20 2003

AquaCool & The Annoying Cold :P

One of the things i really hate is catching cold. The weather has been so unstable in the last coupl eof weeks, once cold, once warm, most of the time so windy, which made me sick. I had strong cold and was suffering from it, you know, coughing, slight fever and this feeling of weakness, i just hate it.
I had to take a day off from work, and up till this day I can’t do anything as good as I want. At work I can barely focus, the letters are mixed up together in the keyboard and it takes me double the time to complete something.
At home, everything’s in beg mess, i have no power to do anything but cooking, lol. Well yes, I LOVE cooking, and unlike a lot of people I know, when I cook I love to eat my cooking. Well, a lot of people I know say that when someone cooks then they don’t feel like eating that much, but it’s not the case with me, I eat with veeeery good appetite 🙂 .
Anyway, I just thought I’d post it that I’m sick and that’s why my blog was kind of “paused” lately. Today I’m feeling better though, so I’ll rest more and then might have something to post tomorrow or the day after.
As for now, I’ll get back to resting, speially that we have a busy night tonight, we’re going out for the opening of Al Medina, a whole town built in the style of an old town with all its details. It’s located in Yasmine Hammamet, around an hour driving, or maybe an hour with my husbands’ driving, lol, i don’t know. Anyway, I love Yasmine Hammamet and when my little sister visited us she loved it as well.
So tonight is the opening and there will be the M6 Music Concert. Now if I get back in the same condition I’m in now, then I promise to write you about it all. If you find nothing till Monday, then you’d know I got really worse 😉 .
Have a great weekend all of you, and till the next post 🙂

December 4 2003

Dreams… Can They Really Come True

I consider myself a lucky yet weird person as I dream of what I need in real life. This sounds normal, but wait till you know what I dream of and then see whether it’s normal or not.
As we all know our subconscious plays the biggest role in creating our dreams. So if you see something that affected you emotionally, or if you have a certain feeling due to an inner desire or the fear of something, then you can have a self-created dream, of course without you believing that you actually caused this dream to be created. So next morning you find yourself either scared to death that your dream will come true, or so anxious for things to happen the way you saw in your dream, or , or ,or.
And I’ve always been amazed with the scientific interpretations for dreams, how they’re created, their actual duration and everything. And psychologists consider dreams a “relief”, which I myself find so impressive.
But what makes me crazy is what I dream of.
For instance, I speak Arabic, English and German and on my way to speaking French. I know so little about Italian, Turkish and Hebrew. But I have NO IDEA about Spanish. Now in that case how would my subconscious create a 3-day Spanish course?! Yes, believe it or not, I dreamed of a famous Egyptian actress called Mariam Fakhreddine, I dreamed of her giving me Spanish lessons. This dream continued for 3 days. And the surprise is that every time I woke up, I remembered how the Spanish words were spelled, pronounced and what they meant. So I had to go check on the net to make sure the words were really Spanish and meant the same meaning I got from my dream. And it turned out they were correct!!! So basically after 3 days I was able to count to 10, say “hi”, “my name is Eman”, “how are you”, “woman”, “man”, “baby”, “friend”, and got a basic background of how certain letters are pronounced in Spanish. Isn’t this incredible?
Not that I consider my subconscious useless, no, in fact I love it, and if it wasn’t the cause of my dreams, then I guess It’s God’s gift that made me so lucky to dream of people and events that I miss like hell.
Ever since I got to Tunisia, I never missed a single family occasion in Jordan as I dreamed them all. The birthdays of my parents, brothers, sisters and nephews, I saw them all, I chose the cake with them, I prepared food with them, I decorated the house with them, I even blew the candles with them, took pics of them and wished them happy birthdays!
When I know by the phone that someone of them is sick, we talk together, we go to the doc together and we buy medicine together… in my dreams that is.
I help them in almost everything as if I was present. And when I need to hear their conversation, jokes, listen to their problems, I find myself surrounded with them and our voices would be as loud and warm as if they were real.
Every time I have such dreams of my family and people that I once loved and no longer know where they are or what they do, I wake up so happy and so touched that I was together with them, but 2 seconds later when I realize it was nothing but a dream, I miss them all even more, and I wonder, am I lucky to have dreamt of them, or is it that I’ve become so desperate to accept some dreams replacing the real thing ?
Would my dreams come true!! Perhaps yes, maybe no, but then again I say to myself, nothing’s impossible if we believe strong enough in it.
And I do believe in my dreams.

November 27 2003

Innocent Independence

We had visitors the other day. One of their boys is around 13. And I must say that day was one of the best days of his life, simply because he felt independent. What made me wanna write about him was the term independence from teenagers’ point of view, which reminded me of myself. How innocent they are in this age that by being home alone for a while makes them feel as independent grown ups.
Anyway back to my story, the parents were helping us hang some things on the wall in our home and the father needed a certain tool that was in the car. So he asked his boy to go and get it for him, and ofcourse e gave him the car keys.I cant forget the smile on his face as he went downstairs. Getting the lift, opening the car, looking for the tool and then locking the car doors again, getting the lift once more and finally reaching our home. All of this “responsibility” and “ALONE”. One can tell from the look of his face that he was the happiest ever.
I remembered how happy I got when I was 7 or 8 and took care of my younger sister and brother for 15 minutes while my mother went out with my dad for an urgent thing. Or when my brother felt so grown up when he was left in dad’soffice while dad was in a meeting.
A lot of lovely situations that forces me to be happy everytime i remember them. That doesn’t mean all teenagers feel independent in the same way though.
There are alot of them who wont feel indipendent unless they light a cigarette or drink a glass of wine or run away from home, steal or do anything wrong in our opinion but free and responsible in their opinion.
What I keep on praying for everday is that the new generation wont lose the innocence in them and that there will still be a day when those simple little situations might succeed in giving them the right feelings in the right time and the right way.

November 1 2003

Have Faith

I got a beautiful Fwd from my little sister that says:
whenever you’ve got a problem, don’t you ever say: “God, I’ve got a problem”, but say: “Problem, I’ve got a God!”.
Actually this is one of the lovliest Fwds I’ve ever got, simply because it reminds you of the power of faith, once you’ve got faith, God will never let you down no matter what.
Believing in God and having faith in him doesn’t mean relying completly on his help, and it doesn’t mean being dependent of some kind of miracle that he might send us. No, it only means being strong, asking for your rights, struggling for a great life, believing in yourself and what you’re capable of. Have faith in yourself, and never lose hope. Never forget that you can make your dreams come true if you work hard enough for that purpose. And most important is to always remember : God is always there to help you survive, help you handle your responsibilities the best way possible and reach any goal you have in mind. You don’t need supernatural powers; you don’t need a fortune; and you don’t need violence to succeed in your life. All you have to do is believe in God and yourself…all you need is a beautiful word called “FAITH”.

October 24 2003

S.O.S!!!

For two days, and God only knows till when we’ll continue to suffer, those tiny little “vampires” called mosquitoes are enjoying their full board stay in people’s houses, getting their free refill of fresh human blood ALL THE TIME!!!
Our home, just like all other homes in Tunisia nowadays, are full of those annoying insects, and it’s all due to the big quantity of rain water that filled the streets, houses and farms leaving behind them “lakes” of still water. For this reason mosquitoes became more than anyone can tolerate, and I’ll let your creative imagination picture what could happen when every room in your home is overcrowded with such insects.
Other than the fact that they suck your blood with no mercy leaving itching spots all over your body, and other than their stupid noise and their disgusting view on walls, there is a very dangerous possibility of spreading disease and even creating new diseases.
I don’t know what to do! The night before last night we couldn’t sleep at all, we were hiding in our OWN HOME under bed covers to protect ourselves of those monsters, we couldn’t kill them as we ran out of all insecticides. We had a TERRIBLE night 🙁 Next day I suffered, but thank God we got an electric anti mosquito thing that killed most but not all of them, at least we had a good night sleep. But then again the story repeats itself in the morning, when they have their batteries recharged and are more active than the day before. The problem is that they seem to have a very good appetite, and I’m the victim 🙁 I don’t think there is any blood left in me, anyway, enough is enough, so I decided to announce the start of my war on mosquitoes. I closed all windows, used all sprays available, used the electric insecticide, result was: I got dizzy and the dear mosquitoes were still flying around so healthy, so happy looking at me as a delicious meal waiting for them to come and eat.
I thought of doing what my brother used to do when there were many mosquitoes in the house, he used to “clean them away” with the Hoover, so I started pointing the Hoover on them one by one, but they were brave enough to ATTACK me in return, till I was really fed up and started running after them in the house… after I made sure there was no one left safe, I used this feature I love so much in our Hoover: you press a little cute button, the temperature in the dirt bag rises to 80 degrees boiling the insects to death. I pressed the button revengefully and enjoyed the thought of them being killed, I had this feeling of triumph, no I’m not sick, but if you were in my place and suffered like me you’d even celebrate killing them, those stupid things.
Anyways, after having them killed, and exactly when I was placing the Hoover where it belongs, with a SMILE on my face, my hand started itching!! AND something near my ear went like: izzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz, I turned around to see two disgusting wings of a horrible mosquito :(… what can I say other than: I HATE MOSQUITOES, I HATE THEM, I REALLY HATE THEM…