Work Diaries (29): It’s About Time!
2 Months Earlier…
I have really had it with my boss, he keeps giving me more and more tasks, more and more responsibilities, more and more duties, as if I’m some kind of robot. I had to face him and have a very serious talk with him to explain that I can no longer go on this way, no matter how good I am, I’m still flesh and blood, I can’t continue this way, this is pure slavery. And I don’t want to keep whining and complaining about how much I hate my job, I had to do something. I did try before to draw some limits, but they never worked, maybe coz I never used a really serious way of discussion! So I decided to go right away and talk to him. And just when I pick up myself to go to his office, I find him at my office door…
Boss: Eman, I need you to leave everything and take a look at this, I want you to translate this, then go to our client in person, hand it out to him, get it signed by him, drop by our lawyer, get the contract approved , come back here before 3 and scan the contract as well as the first 70 pages of the proposal, and have them emailed to our headquarters by 5!
Eman: Well, I’m afraid it’s impossible, I can’t do all this alone, in that short time, look, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about this whole thing, seriously…
Boss: Eman, let’s do the talking later, this is really urgent, everything emailed by 5, end of story. (he goes away)
Eman: WAIT! I cannot do all this.
Boss: Sorry? what’s up Eman? what’s this new tone!
Eman: Actually, we need to talk right now, I will not do anything else before we’re done with the conversation.
Boss:(looking really pissed off) Ok, make it quick, let’s talk in my office.
We go to his office. He picks up some kind of paper, adds it to a pile of files, and gives them all to me.
Boss: I need those double-checked and signed by you by tomorrow afternoon. So you were saying?
Eman: Listen, I believe you’ve got used to me doing everything here, I’m basically doing every single thing in the office. I’m no machine, I have capabilities, and when I say I can’t do this or that, you get offended and accuse me of not doing my job.
Boss: I see where this is going, look, if you mean you need me to hire a new employee, then better not have those dreams, I’m never EVER going to hire someone to help.
Eman: But I can’t go on like that. Look at our branches worldwide, my work is done by 5 employees, each is paid double my salary!
Boss: So it’s about money huh!
Eman: No, although I believe I’m really underpaid, but still I’m arguing about exhaustion here, I can’t do all this alone. I’m expected to give you professional quality work on all levels, on time, with no help whatsoever, and I get nothing in return, no appreciation, no money, no promotion, nothing but more work! it’s not fair, and I wont wait till I make mistakes and take responsibilities of unbelievable pressure ok!
Boss: Listen, there’s no raise, because our revenues weren’t that much. And I’d rather help you myself than hire a new employee and pay him/her a salary. Ok. I’ll help you out and will do my best not to overload you.
Eman: (not completely convinced, but at least I’ll give it a last chance) Fine, starting this minute, we’ll split work.
I end up doing the whole thing alone, coz it turns out he had an URGENT meeting and couldn’t make it to the lawyer.
For a whole month, I get no assistance whatsoever, just more and more work to do. Not only from my boss, but from our head management abroad. Tight deadlines, a lot of work, and I’m supposed to be on time and expected to make no mistakes whatsoever.
Things keep worsening by the day, I get extremely sick, take few days off, come back to find out my boss got a huge raise from the head management. I ask if there is any kind of promotion or raise for me, but he tells me there is nothing for me this year and that he’s not happy with his raise either.
I tell him that I didn’t get any assistance ever since we talked, but he insists he’s helping as much as he can. And then he tells me: By the way, I’m sending you for training to UK next month.
Eman: (A spark of hope in my eyes) What kind of training exactly and what would happen afterwards.
Boss: Nothing, you’ll learn to access our new software and will then be responsible for more data entry, and a couple of other duties you’ll know about there.
Eman: That’s it? Only MORE WORK?
Boss: What were you expecting a promotion?
Eman: I have NO TIME for more jobs, I have NO EFFORT to do more work, I CAN’T! I’m Not Going.
Boss: Oh no you are.
Eman: Sorry I’m not going.
Boss: I’ll postpone it till you’re more free, but you’ll have to go eventually and you’ll do the extra work ok.
Last Month…
Everything’s out of control. Phone ringing constantly, fax beeping all the time, “new email has just arrived in your inbox” keeps popping up every 5 minutes, the door bell’s ringing every half an hour, my boss is calling every other minute asking me to do this and that! I go to home with no effort to do anything but get off my shoes, nothing else…everything’s in total chaos. I look at my reflection in the mirror and see how exhausted, how angry and how disappointed I look… I keep accepting more work, with nothing in return, not even a thank you, nothing but a very low salary convincing myself that one day I’ll reach what I want, will that ever happen in this stupid company? till when am I going to represent the same business card of the same job I hate, working with an ignorant boss who has no understanding whatsoever? whom am I doing all this for? what’s worth giving away all that time and effort and health? is that what I wanted to become? is this where I want to be 5 years from now? is this what I deserve? is this what my home deserves? HELL NO!
Next morning, and once my boss gets in, I go to his office.
Boss: What is it Eman?
Eman: I QUIT.
So happy to have you back!
I completely agree…you did the best thing and I can feel in what you write that you are relieved now!
I wish you the best of luck!
Barbara
I have this same problem too.. I do all the work.. most of it that is.. and I am university educated and I am not permenant employee.. the guy who works with me get full benefits and pensions.. he only has a college diploma and gets paid then me.. and I been working there longer.. stupid shitty job.. only reason I did not quit yet is cuz I need the money and I cannot quit b4 getting another job… stupid life.. I think it is cuz I am a girl or something.. and I work in an IT field that is dominated by males..!! eff..!!
reminds me of a same sad episode in my working life….it was the right choice you won’t regret !! 😉
Dear Eman,
You did the right thing, I swear. You might get moments of panic, or thinking “What have I done, I should have thought this true, what now??” but when that happens, stop and remind yourself this was inevitable. You were being taken advantage of and you tried time and time again to remedy the situation, to no avoil. YOU DID THE RIGHT THING. There will be great things in store for you, seeing as you’re such a hardworking and dedicated person. I hope you will be able to take some time off for yourself and your family now; to recharge and reappreciate the wonders of life. Then things will start happening, PATIENCE is the key! Good luck and good for you!
Good god.
waiting work diaries(30)…!
You go, girl!
I support you 100 %.
If there’s no job satisfaction, then perhaps that company is not for you.
Ya Hala, good on ya. Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries
Eman, whoops! 🙂
Barbara, I appreciate you following up on my news all the time, you’re such a sweet person. Thanks for the wish and hope to meet you in person soon.
By the way, are you still going to have a blog?
Mona, dear, I truly feel for you, your situation is worse than mine because it includes discrimination between males and females, something I really hate. I mean they should treat all employees equally in the basics, but they can differentiante according to qualification, or experience, or hard work not gendre!
I wish you the best of luck and hope you wont stop looking for a new job.
Gloom Keeper, thanks for the comment and I’m glad that the similar experience you had is over and counted as past.
Hal, you got that right, I did go through this “what have I done” phase, but I guess it’s just a natural reaction. I truly appreciate your sweet comment, so supportive, thanks, and I wish you the best in your life as well 🙂
Hamede, thanks for dropping by and leaving a comment.
Orange, dear, yep there will be some few more work diaries coming up soon, stay tuned. Hope you’re doing great.
Saad, Thanks a million, it means so much to me 🙂
Kinzi, thanks a lot for your comments, I truly love hearing from you 🙂
Eman ,you are trapped in the corporate world ,simply you are doing something good ,something appreciated and trusted but the one who you call ” BOSS ” your manager ,Eman ,your manager not only knows that you are good in doing your work ,but somehow being meticulous ,he likes and trust your style and the way you are doing it .In other words you have something good you offer he needs (the supply and demand) ,such is a valuable commodity in a multinational company .
Now ,I feel you should do the following ,correct me please if I am wrong :
A- you are good at what you do rate your self objectively as if you are hiring your self .
B- you must like what you do irrespective of your endurance .
C-Your manager ,keeps coming back for more quality work ,and you discuss your graveness there and then VERBELLY only ,it is the wrong time and way !!!
D- Have you yet put all what you want to say ( all your grievances ) in a objectively written proposal addressed to him ? detailing what you do and time it ,more over mention and talk about salary/pay scale projected for 3 years .
E- Your write up proposal should be very brief ,put in points with very littele details ,and never again mention quit and stay !!!! you stay it seems like a good work place ,in comparison to what is available .In your proposal ask for a fixed appointment to see him( better after working hours last day before the week end) ,to talk over your proposal,only there you ask for a pay raise not as a charity !!!!I spit on a manger who says I will pay you from my own pocket ,that is a weakens you should use intelligently ,if you Eman is wroth an extra pay from his pocket it is his own duty and concern as a manager to increase you legitmately .Listen to him quietly(and respectively ) let him finish all his arguments ,and come back and tell him you are the manger and I am the employee ,if you dont give me what I want,then you pull from your file a list of the things that you can and will do .More over you tell him you are staff not sales producing person to be linked on how the company is performing .
F- keep at least two alternatives up your sleeve to negotiate ,if he decides to not increase you specify what you are willing to do ,if he agrees to increase you ,he should not use that to swarm you with further work !!!!!.
G- Run a short survey about salary scale of your equal peers in other companies to be realistic .The pay raise comes first along with a job description (you do it in details .once you get a raise ,and just in case it is not what you expect ,you dont quit,but negotiate for benefits ,and an assistance .
Eman , never ever talk these things as by the ways !!! treat your case as a business manner .
Now start doing what I told you prepare a short proposal for what you want ,let him read it and sleep on it ,then ask for an appointment after preparing your own case file .then you go for the kill and negotiate ,you will not get what you want from the first meeting ,but progressively you will get something that may be worth it .
Remember at all times you are a needed cometary in this office ( I know nothing about your Job ?Ha one more last thing ,give him the shoulder and be stern with him for few days ,keep your conversation polite but cold ,restricted to yes and no .
If you need more details you know how to get them from me ,but I have a full confidence in you ,if you do a good work for the office might as well do it for you Eman .But never ever say I quit,and stay .
You want to be smart find a good job first with good pay ,benefits and an “ambiance” of respect ,then quit .
but the devil you know is far better than the one you dont know .
Eman it is me again ,As always I have one more thing to add .
Starting to day keep a log/paper and start logging in and time your self ,for any thing you do during office hours ,work wise and personal ,this is not only for your pay raise issue ,this is for time your own time management .Keep this exercise for at least one working week ,you will be amazed about the results such as things you are doing that it is not under your jurisdiction ,or things that you should be dedicated to others ,and things that should not at all be done by you .This time management sheet is purely for your own self efficiency ,and time management .You repeat every three months .Such could be helpful if you take an objective approach to see and correct your self according to the out come of the results .Take care Eman and give it a chance
Refugee, my dear friend whom I appreciate so so much. I thank you for your comments and concern.
The thing is, I can’t bore my readers with every single detail I’ve gone through until I took my final decision to quit. It might sound a careless decision I took in a moment of anger, but believe me it’s not as easy as it seems.
The steps you’ve mentioned were all done, not only once, but more than 3 times. I stated clearly what I needed, what’s bothering me, and tried to have a very neutral and grown up conversation with my boss. But nothing ever changes. I contacted the headquarters and explained the situation (not behind my boss’back but in his presence) but their answer was my boss should be the one to help and they can do nothing to assist. And my boss kept telling me he can offer me nothing else than what’s already there. No assistance, no raise, nothing.
I remember we had a conversation the 2 of us about this matter earlier, and I took your advice, I knew that the ones in my position with no experience at all are getting paid way much more than I am being paid in Tunisia. So I’m underpaid in Tunisia’s standards, Jordan’s standards, and everywhere. I was waiting for my evaluation (my 3rd evaluation ever since I’ve worked for that company), this evaluation is made to show if the employee is good or not, if the first, then (s)he should get a raise automatically. I’ve been getting the BEST evaluation results, I even exceeded the notes of my boss since 2003, but got no raise.
What I hope to make clear here is that I didn’t give up hope until I knocked all possible doors, but I’ve reached a point where my health was at risk for a job in which I’m neither appreciated, nor helped, nor paid fairly. I had no other choice but quit.
Eman I am on your side hundred present ,not because you are next of ken ,but because of your merits and qualifications .Now forget about Jordan ,you are married in Tunisia so we talk Tunisian standards .
Are you sure you Quit ? look into it again and again the time and efforts you have put in this Job are worth relooking into it again if the chance knocks your door again .
Never ever by pass your manger if you are looking for a multinational career ,yet you did well as you have exposed the SOB manger of yours .
Now what are your alternatives ? if it is another job ,dont even look or consider before another month of good rest .
Eaman ,I may dont know you ,but I know how much you can produce under stress ,a rare quality in a good worker ,so if you are back to the job market either use it to market your skills ,or keep quite and get an ordinary job .
Eman ,again and again I am on your side ,I doubt it is over and you are as you say it “quit ” keep me posted if you are back to your old job at you own conditions ,or you are looking for a better job AFTER A ONE MONTH REST > Good luck you dont need it as you make your own job ,but take care as you deserve it .
Eman, friend on a distant shore…
Sociopathic personalities do very well in hierarchical organizations, such as large corporations and the military. Sounds like your boss may be one of them. Of course, such people regard others only as objects to further their own ends. They’ll use you up and spit you out wihtout a qualm. (Did you ever see the Anthony Hopkins movie “The Silence of the Lambs?” There was a sociopathic personality at the top of his game. 🙂 )
Now might be a good time to reinvent yourself. You might wish to consider what it is you want to be, or accomplish and how you’d go about accomplishing that. New occupation? Education leading to something you want to do? Hopefully you live in a mileu where such changes are tolerated and even encouraged.
I did that. And though I make, oh so much less money teaching than I did designing information systems, I’m happier.
“If I’m not for myself, who will be for me? If I am for myself alone, what am I? If not now, when?” (A famous medieval rabbi, probably either Akiba or Hillel.)
(Yeah, I know, easy for me to say. Advice is always cheap. 🙂 )
Please keep us informed. As you can see, you’ve a lot of people out here who genuinely care about you. (I imagine we’d look an odd lot, gathered together in one room, don’t you? 🙂 )
Courage. And good luck.
Cheers.
Refugee, my all time supporter, I assure you that I didn’t compare financial matters to other countries before making sure of the situation in the country i live in, and I’m telling you, I was getting paid less than a new graduate in Tunisia. I have work experience and very impressive qualifications…anyway, again many thanks for your insight, I truly appreciate everything. I’m trying to rest as much as I can now especially that my health requires me to. Will keep you posted.
Jimbo, what a lovely comment you left there, thanks friend. Re-invent myself? what a beautiful expression you used, I loved it. And I totally understand what you mean by making less money but being happier, feeling somehow comfortable at work and being appreciated and encouraged makes the employee feel the happiness that will make him/her stand tough conditions, work good quality and hold on to his/her career.
Thanks for caring, wishing you the best always.
Mabrook Eman! Inshalla to the better.
Roba, dear friend, thanks for your lovely wishes 🙂
Eman, Good for You!!!
I understand and empathise with you and think that you certainly seem to have done the right thing. Sometimes taking some risk is the only way to find what’s truly important to you.
All the best, and good to see you back blogging again 🙂
Eman,
I am another person who believes you will do very well in life, and I am sorry that you were being treated so terribly. I could wholeheartedly relate to what you went through, having gone through it myself a couple of times. The way someone like your boss treated you, is one more example of a typical bottom feeder of society…Its the only way a no talent person is able to keep power — by subjegating and abusing the person who is really the one with all of the skill, integrity, and work ethic. It really sounds to me as though your boss was greatly threatened by you, and this was his solution; to enslave you, amd using the typical tools of the workforce modern slavery situation. I think its a global thing, but even worse in an economy like Tunisia where sometimes the cream does not get to rise to the top. But look forward, like Jimbo said, reinvention for you will be key. From what I have read through all of your blog entries I can see that you are really an amazing talent on so many levels.
In this situation I completely agree with your decision. You are filled with so much ability and with your personality and nature I don’t think its reasonable to expect to remain intact or healthy in the working situation that you described.
I emailed you — via your husband regarding a job I heard about in your neck of the woods. It may be way off base, but I think the pay, hours, and workload would be much better, at any rate it may get you thinking in a completely new direction.
I missed your blogging entries while you were away, and I too am so happy to have you back.
Your supporter,
Jmarie
Amelopsis & Jmarie,
I thank you both for your support and sweetness. It’s knowing people like you two, who care about me although we’ve never met that makes me love blogging 🙂
Thanks
1) Yeah, what Jmarie said. 🙂
2) Could you lend the he Democrats here some of your fire, Eman? (I have Kerry’s Boston address. 🙂 ) I was reminded of you when I read Bob Herbert’s column in today’s New York Times, regarding the midterm Congressional elections:
“What the Democrats need more than anything, with midterms coming up in the fall and a presidential election two years later, are personable candidates of strong character who have at least some measure of political courage and are willing to stand up for what they truly believe. This is the stuff that leaders are made of.”
3) That Letter from Iran:
I’m no fan of Mr. Ahmadinejad. But I am hopelessly old fashioned: someone takes the time to write you a letter, it reflects poorly on your character if you don’t read it. (Letters from former lovers are, of course, exempt from this judgment and may be immediately and mercilessly destroyed without a qualm. 🙂 )
Mr. Bush won’t read the letter–he’s not a big reader anyway–so perhaps we should read it for him?
http://michaelmoore.com/mustread/index.php?id=643
Cheers.
Jimbo, thanks for your sweet comments, I’m really flattered that you think of me that way.
As for the letter to Bush, I’ve posted about it, thanks a million for pointing it out, and like you I’m no fan of Iran’s president, nor do I agree with his policies and political stands but there are points mentioned in the letter that make sense regardless of the writer of it. It’s really long but I believe it’s worth reading. Thanks.