Same old story, people just enjoy accusing you of being stubborn, arrogant or similar things that you’re not. Hmm, to be honest I feel I’m stubborn in a way, but no way I feel that I’m even close to arrogant. Well maybe no one feels they’re what they don’t want to be, but from people around me I am so positive that I’m not arrogant. Actually a lot of friends and people we know wonder why they expect me and my family to be arrogant, and then when knowing us they realize we’re anything but arrogant.
Being arrogant is to me so much easier than being modest these days. People are fooled by their looks, talents, achievements, success or their financial status. They forget that looks are not what they made, it’s what God has given them, and so is talent. As for other things, then it’s ok express pleasure possessing certain things or being blessed with certain gifts, or being happy with the results of your hard work, but all this should be in form of happiness, appreciation and pride, and there is a very thin line between pride and arrogance. First is a right, an award to one’s self in return of hard work and good planning, whereas the second (arrogance) is an ugly mask to hide a weak complex personality that loves to show off what it happens to lack.
And it’s sometimes the fault of the person himself that people misunderstand his pride as arrogance, on the other hand, it could so possibly be others who have poor backgrounds of judging, or leave it up to what others say to build their judgments.
One thing I know, is that I am proud of who I am, where I come from and what I do. That doesn’t mean I’m best in the eyes of all, neither does it say that I’m the worst. There’ll always be ones who’ll just love me the way I am, others who’ll envy me for who I am, and some who’ll hate me also for who I am. But as long as I know I’m doing nothing wrong to be ashamed of, nor hurting anyone’s feelings, and never interfering in others’ private matters, then I’m satisfied and feel proud of who I am.
And just like there are some who think I’m arrogant, there are more than those people who just love the person I am, but well some always want to think I am arrogant to please their ego, lol, like guys back in university who started spreading rumors about me being a snob just because I never dated any of them 😛 or like those girls who work next door and say I’m arrogant just because I don’t join them for their afternoon gossip, lol, or those pharmacy workers who think I just want to show off my English skills when I ask for something in English and not in French after terrible failing attempts of explaining in Arabic ,lol, God! I must sound really arrogant, huh!! Anyway today the alarm of the Embassy next to us went off because of a technical error, and for security reasons –which I still don’t understand- employees in our building were asked to gather downstairs to answer some questions concerning safety and alarm systems and stuff like that. And there I ran into the ladies next door, they were like: here comes the arrogant employee next door.
I: what about a nice “good morning”? and may I know why I’m arrogant?
They: you say hi to the security man and you talk to the maid and you treat those “lower class” people such as the postman normally, but you never sit with the guys next door while all other girls do, we never see you flirting, all this and then you ask why we say you’re arrogant.
I: … lol, did it ever cross your mind that maybe I don’t simply “flirt” with guys because it’s just something I don’t do, neither before nor after marriage.
They: Oh, so you’re different huh!
I: call it whatever you like, I don’t flirt that’s all.
They: Ok why don’t you ever ask us for a ride home?
I: What makes you think I have a car in the first place?!
They: You look like you have a car! Why would we call you arrogant then?
I: So you call me arrogant coz I don’t flirt, coz I talk to other “lower class” and coz I never ask you if you need a lift in a car which you assume I have! And now that everything’s clear, do you still think I’m arrogant?
They: maybe if you stop using this different dialect that you’re using just to draw attention and show off then you wont sound that arrogant!
I: You know what!, maybe you’re right! Maybe I’m just arrogant… best thing to do is just greet each other in the morning and on our way out nothing more, you don’t want to be called arrogant, do you!
They: see, she confesses that she’s arrogant!! Didn’t I tell you!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!! Some people just get on my nerves!!!!!! Anyway, it’s about time for me to go home now, so I better stop here.
Oh, I almost forgot: need a ride home? I have one hell of a Ferrari waiting for me down there 😉

Today I have my final test for French, I didn’t prepare well for it since I had no time at all. I have plenty of things to do at work and home. I revised a couple of pages yesterday in my lunch break, and that was it. And although my husband did his best to help me focus and study, but I had neither the power nor the mood to do so.
Actually I don’t care about the result that much, I’m not planning to go on for the next level, I just wanted to learn more about the language and improve my knowledge, which I believe is accomplished 🙂 Now if the timing of the course was different from now, then I might have considered registering myself for the coming semester, but this timing is so tiring and leaves me no time to do what I have and what I want to do. Add to this that I never study what I learn in the Institute -because of lack of time- and a language needs practice and hard work in order to be learned very well. Anyway, after today, I still have an oral test on Monday with 3 professors to test my skills, so I just hope I’ll pass today and on Monday, if I didn’t, then it’s no big deal, I made new friends, learned more French, and had some good time.
As for now, I should get back to work. Wish me luck guys…

Today my younger sister discussed her graduation project and research. Her field is Industrial Engineering, a tough one, and I can still remember how hard she used to work on her studies when I was still living with my family in Jordan. I can’t believe how fast time flies by! Now she’s about to graduate.
I really hate it to be here while she’s going through this important experience. I wished I could be there with her, help her out with her preparations and be present to listen to her discussion and support her. Now everyone there could share her this but me 🙁 well, not only me, but my mom, older sis & her family and my big bro, as they’re in Canada
now 🙁 but that doesn’t make me feel any better, it only makes me feel worse :((((
Once again, I’m missing a very important occasion of a very dear person…
I wish she did great as she always does!

Today when I woke up (eventually) I felt like I’m going to collapse and fall on the floor after few steps before I reach the bathroom to wash my sleepy face. I couldn’t focus on anything, lol, it was so funny. All I wanted was a few more minutes of sleep. On the way to work, I couldn’t open one subject to discuss with my husband, I could hardly keep my eyes open. The slight breeze and the warm weather made me even more sleepy. I got to my office, got me a hot cup of coffee, which made me feel like watching TV, lol, weird, but that’s what happened. Anyway, I couldn’t do anything. Even looking around at the world’s news or anything, just wanted to sleeeeeeeep. I was afraid that I’d lay my head on the desk and really sleep, then nothing could wake me up 😛 Anyway, I started replying to my daily emails (an average of 35 emails per day) making some phone calls to solve some problems, and then my boss came to give me one of the things I really hate doing: reports. Turns out the company’s trying to apply new methods to have more control on its international branches, therefore I had to do the report in the new form again. Once I was done (few minutes ago) I felt I needed more and more coffee to keep me awake, but fortunately I was able to resist the tempting smell of coffee this time.
Anyway, I thought why am I being so tired everyday! Is it the weather? Is it the amount of sleep I’m getting being not enough?! Or maybe it’s the work and thinking I do that gets me so tired? No matter what the reason is, the solution is that I should rest more and have another re-energizing life style. And both I know are hard to get, at least for the time being. But good news is, my French course is to an end, my final test will be next week, and the oral test will be a week after the final. Then I’ll have only my job and home to take care of. Can’t wait for that 😉 As for now, and specifically this minute, I have to do something to wake myslef up, I have a very busy day today, at work and after it. Sometimes I feel like crying so loud or knocking my head against the wall, but thank God I still didn’t totally lose it…
And it’s better to compare myself with people who cannot support their families, who have no jobs, or those old people that work in the sun, carry heavy weight, just to afford a loaf of bread to feed the kids. Thinking of those poor people who spend their life working so hard, in a time that has no place for the weak and kind, makes me feel I’m lucky, makes me appreciate my job more, and makes me thank God for being by my side…
It’s lunch time now, but I’m not hungry yet, or maybe I’m hungry but have no power to go eat, loool. I’m more into surfing and blogging now, wish me luck so that I wont have the kind of work that needs a lot of thinking. Can’t wait till 5 p.m. I’ll have at least 1 hour to catch my breath before I get busy again…

This is a question I’ve been asked over and over again. Almost everyone poses it to me. Tunisians ask why I speak their dialect rather than mine. Non-Tunisians ask about the reasons for me to speak Tunisian.
Some look at it as being ashamed of my dialect, or being afraid of identified as a foreigner, or trying to be someone who I’m not.
But the fact is, I speak Tunisian because I am strong. Yes, when I first arrived, I didn’t know the Tunisian dialect that well, therefore I limited using it to certain emergency situations. But after a short while, I got to know it better and now I speak it fluently. Most of the people don’t recognize I’m not Tunisian unless from the looks, or if the conversation was long…lol, there there has to be some words that jump out of my mouth pronounced in a weird way 😉
Anyway, I am proud of who I am, and I adore my dialect. But I learned Tunisian and I speak it for many reasons. First I made a little comparison, I was like: if a Tunisian wants to buy something from a shop in Jordan, and he goes on asking in Tunisian, it’ll either result in total shock for the Jordanian, or a misunderstanding. So if that Tunisian wants to live in Jordan, get a cab, go to university, buy stuff… etc, he has to know Jordanian to avoid complications and misunderstandings.
Another reason is, by learning Tunisian, I get to understand what people say to me, what they say about me, in short, even if it’s not me who’s speaking, I’ll get to understand everything in the conversation. On the other hand, and as it is the case in all parts of the world, foreigners get lied to, people think they’re tourists for example, and go on cheating in the prices of stuff. Therefore, and although many people recognize I’m not Tunisian from my looks and the tone of my voice, but still speaking to them in their dialect shows them that I’ve been living here for a while and therefore I know what’s write from wrong and they wont have the courage to fool me.
Another reason is that I want my kids to speak their dad’s dialect… as well as mine 😉 And I can’t get them to speak it if I myself don’t!
Last but not least, there are people who are not that open to other cultures and have no idea what our dialect means, therefore it’s nonsense to go on speaking a dialect they wont understand.
But what really gets me laughing, is the reaction of people to the truth. When I speak my dialect they go like: “no you’re Tunisian now, you should know how to speak our dialect”. And when I speak Tunisian they go like: “why? Do you think we’re too stupid to understand your dialect? It’s all Arabic!” And some just love hearing my dialect!!
Anyway, it’s not people’s who choose, it’s me, therefore I made my own rules concerning when I should speak the Tunisian dialect, and when should I speak mine.
So basically now I speak my dialect with my husband, among in-laws, friends, and people I know would understand my dialect because of their position that involves them with other cultures and other dialects. But when I’m in a taxi, or in a store downtown, or at work, or on the phone, I use the Tunisian dialect to avoid being unclear, and so that I wont have to tell my life story to anyone from the street: I’m from.., originally … but I live here coz…. I just cut it short, say what I want, get it, and that’s it.
That’s why I speak Tunisian, and I am proud of myself for being able to manage in society in the right way, protecting myself, getting my rights, and offending no one 🙂

Finally this very long week has come to an end. I worked toooooooo much during this week that I feel I can’t make it to the end of the street. I am so so exhausted, and can’t wait to reach home.
The fact that I had my birthday yesterday didn’t rescue me from extra work 🙁 I had to stay an extra hour and a half working my head off till I could no longer tell the difference between colors 😛 Yes, it was one of those boring all day office work tied to my stupid chair facing the screen with my hands replying to emails, typing faxes, and creating charts 🙁 As I was FINALLY done my poor fingers couldn’t stand still, lol, it was as if I had an invisible keyboard in front of me, lol, that was pathetic.
I really thank God it’s Friday. Which reminded me of this restaurant in Beirut, TGI Friday 🙂 I was 20 years old back then, and was wondering what this big TGI stood for! And then I saw the Friday and knew it was Thank God It’s Friday. They served yummy meals 😛
Anyway, now that it’s Friday, I hope I will have enough sleep, relaxation and rest. But I know in advance that those words were not made for me. I mean, I really have no idea how do I always end up working all through the weekend. I simply love taking care of our home, I enjoy cleaning it, I enjoy having it smell sweet, specially white musk, my favorite 🙂 if not then strawberry, apple, papaya or vanilla would be fine. But loving to have my home clean doesn’t necessarily mean I wouldn’t wish for it to be shining without me paying effort for a change :PP and since that’s difficult to be realized, I can’t but spend my weekend with the non-stop activity button clicked on. But will I have decided to pamper myself a bit, which is something I enjoy as well. You must be wondering: what a contradiction, being restless yet enjoying pampering herself! That’s true, they might seem a bit of a paradox, but well, even when I pamper myself, it is really quick 😛
Anyway, I wish you all a happy weekend and hope we’ll be hearing some good happy news of the world. Everything seems to be getting only worse, war all around the world. Fighting, killing, abuse, humiliation, starving, pollution… what a crazy world! But we shouldn’t lose hope, and we should always pray to God that peace will come back to Earth. Who thought a day would come when human beings would think that peace would be some kind of a miracle, a wish to make.. God what have we done to the world!!

Yes today I am 26 years old, quite a number huh! Actually I never felt that becoming older is something to be ashamed of, or to let me down. In fact the older I become the happier I am, as long as my heart and my mentality are healthy and vital enough to fill me with the energy to live, give, and think positively.
And now that I look at myself, I can say that I’m really proud of who I am. I’m not a perfect person, although I consider myself a perfectionist, but well, not all what I consider perfect, is really perfect from the point of view of others. But at least I do my best not to hurt anyone, and I try as hard as I can to fulfill my wishes without crossing the line.
Whether I am happy with my life or not, ok, this is a good question, and a difficult one indeed. On one hand, I am very happily married, I have a very great job (not that I’m in love with though :P) and I have a beautiful cozy small home, furnished with love, hard work, and sweet memories. I live in a beautiful country, got to know many kind people, made few new friends, and know how to manage to do everything on my own in this city.
On the other hand, nothing feels complete without my family. I don’t know, it’s just that I miss them so much, specially that I have a very special family. I need their presence, I need their faces, and I need anything from their sides, even if it was some fights 🙂 I feel like I’m split into two wonderful lives, my marriage life, and my family life, wouldn’t it be just perfect if they were combined together? it will certainly be heaven on earth…
I miss my old friends, those true friends who remember me all the time, and who want nothing in return but to share my news and experiences. They used to throw me surprise parties every now and then, my family was the partner in crime 😉 it was fun. And then when I got engaged my fiancé joined the club 🙂 Sweet sweet memories.

Knowledge & Professional Life
Every year, I learn more about life, I learn things that fascinate me, and others that hurt me, and some that disgust me. And I’m not embarrassed to say that I even learn things that are so well known to almost everybody but me. I don’t know how, but well, the important thing is I finally learned them. And I believe, learning never stops. Knowledge has to be added to every minute. No matter how small the thing I learned is, I appreciate knowing it. Every day added to life, gives more experience, good or bad, it doesn’t matter, because we all know, without tasting bitterness you will never appreciate sweetness.
And just like anyone, I have my disappointments in life, one of which is being away of my family, another one is my career life. I thank God that I am lucky enough to get great positions in my professional life both in Jordan and here in Tunisia. I was still a fresh graduate and I got to meet very important people, and had the chance to be a decision maker. And I kept on looking until I found my perfect job, being a person very interested in environment that is 🙂 But then, another decision had to be made, changing my life and putting me in the beginning of the road once again. I had to start all over again. And after hard work, I finally got my present position. Which by the way has nothing to do with my real interests nor my certificates, but looking at the bright side, someone of my age has never been hired for this position in this field of services. I have a nice boss, and my salary is good. As for my environmental concerns, I try to be active in other ways. Not that successful actually, but working on it 🙂

Birthday presents
Don’t I just love birthdays 😛 no just kidding, I do love presents, but it all depends on the one giving them. I don’t care how expensive, and I don’t care if someone dear does not afford giving me a present, a nice word, a card, an email or a call is enough. The thought is what counts.
My dear family never misses a birthday, this is my second one away from them, and God knows I wished so bad to be with them this year, but it didn’t work. And since many people we know seem to get too busy preparing for their visits to Tunisia that they forget to give a call asking if my family wished to send me something (although we always call when someone is leaving) so my family stopped counting on their help, and found out an alternative. Sending packages by airline trips. So instead of sending one or two things with people, they gather them till some occasion is close like “Eid” or birthdays, and ship them to us. So I already got my family gifts and a very very beautiful greeting card from mom 🙂 Thanks all 🙂
And of course my day started with my dear husband’s birthday wishes. He celebrated the day by having a pretty smile on the face and hearing music I love on the way to work 🙂 As for the rest of the gifts, I will be getting them after blowing the candles. There will be my husband of course and my in-laws 🙂

What else do I have to say? Nothing actually, one thing I wish would happen, and know it wont 😛 is to be thrown a surprise party from my family 🙂 And since that isn’t possible, at least this year 😛 then the best gift they could offer me above all the beautiful things I got is to hear they’re all happy, doing well, enjoying life, and most important of all, in good health.

I’m trying to keep myself happy, and I’m pretending not to be pissed off from the MANY emails I’m getting today asking me to do loads of work, and I’m trying to enjoy myself regardless of the annoying every two minute calls I get from clients. I have decided to let no one ruin my day 🙂 And to prove this, if you can just take a look at my screen you’ll find more than 20 emails marked both urgent and unread, you’ll find Windows messenger crowded with conversation windows, and my desk stuffed with folders, the fax has run out of paper, while I’m here blogging, eating chocolates, drinking coffee, with a very big smile on my face. So unlike me… that’s why I’m gonna stop right this minute and get back to work 😉

So happy birthday to me 🙂 And thank you God for keeping me alive…

Taxis in Tunisia are really one of a kind. In the time taxis in Jordan are willing to get you in the cab for any distance, no matter how short, Tunisian taxis have their own conditions, and their own mood.
It happened more than once that I’d stop a taxi from my work in “Les Berges du Lac” to go to downtown Tunis, for my French course. And after I get in, and tell him where I’m going he goes like: “sorry, step out, I wont go there, there is a huge traffic there and I simply don’t want to get stuck”. But when I’m going from work to home, another taxi would say: “sorry, it’s not on my way, I’m going downtown!”. And what I really hate is this: I stop the taxi, ask before I get in if he’s ok dropping me in a certain place, and then he says OK, but when I get in he keeps swearing and cursing, blaming me for forcing him “indirectly” to give me a ride!!! I mean I always ask in advance to avoid any inconvenience, but NO, they have to keep making me feel so unwelcome, and so guilty for taking them in the wrong direction. As if they’re driving me for free!!!
But worst of all is when I tell the drivers where I live, lol, they go mad, because, thanks to the very practical infrastructure people, the main street leading to our area is broken, flooded when it’s raining and is simply terrible. And this street is famous, and many taxis avoid going there. But when you give them an alternative, tell them you wont even go near that street, and you’re gonna pay even more, and then the driver says no, then it is really shitty. And even worse is what happened to me yesterday, I asked, he was ok, I got in, and then we went for the alternative way home, yet he saw a small spot of the street filled with water, other cars were ahead of us and driving normally, and then he asked me to STEP OUT of the taxi, I had a fight with him, I mean he wanted me to get out in heavy rain, with no human on foot, they were all cars. Anyway I had to get out, got a “refreshing” natural shower of dirty rain. Lol, that was pathetic, I had to walk some distance , and got my home all wet, lol, that felt disgusting 😛 Anyway, hope I wont have to get into any fight with today’s driver.

Oh my GOD! It was a beautiful sunny morning, and I mean SUNNY. It was really beautiful, and now look at it, all of a sudden it’s windy, cloudy, raining heavily, and it’s so damn dark outside. :((((( I thank God that I followed my husband’s advice in the last minute and got my umbrella. He was like: “you never know, weather is unpredictable and crazy these days. Take it just in case”. So I took it, the small one 🙁 so again it wont stand the wind and I’ll have to take another shower on my way home.
God, when the weather is like that in the beginning of the week I feel how long this week will be. I mean this weather is for nothing but being lazy. And I can hardly keep my eyes open 😛 God, is this day long or what!! I WANNA GO HOME!
Ooops, the wind is blowing, rain is falling, it’s getting stronger, and stronger, and strongeeeeeeeer. Hope the cancelled the flights today.
This weather is sure crazy!! It’s not only that, but I have something to admit, I hate strong thunder, every time I hear it, I feel my heart beating really fast, yes, unexpected for someone of my age, but it’s unfortunately true.