WHAT the hell?! I’ve been lying on my back for 30 minutes for NOTHING! does that mean I have to take another half an hour, without moving? In this cold room? inside this awful machine? Would I be able to do it?
I could hear my heart beating like crazy, I could feel my cheeks warming up and OH MY GOD! what is that deafening noise, something’s wrong(I press the panic button)… an even louder noise from the alarm is now there and I almost get a heart attack)… Now to be frank, I did make a little research before I actually went for the scan; I saw the machine online, heard a sample of the “noise” (you need to turn on your speakers and volume to the max) but let me tell you something, it’s MUCH WORSE in real life! so in my own defense, I had every right to freak out! Anyway, everything’s shut down, doctor comes in, explains that I will have to put up with this misery for another 30 minutes without moving and leaves.

The frequency was so loud, it felt like someone was digging for petrol right next to my head, believe me I am not exaggerating when I say it was just like torture, evil evil torture. There were different levels and “tunes” of the sound, and the best way to cope with the horrible noise was keeping myself busy thinking of anything else.

Eman: ok, think think, yes, I can count to 100really loud, ok, I can do this: 1, 2, 3, 4 … I CAN’T, I JUST CAAAAAN’T DO THIS, THIS IS SO DAMN LOUD! ok, ok, calm down Eman, let’s try singing, “fireflies” my favorite, tara tatta, hmmm,  ”as plaaanet earth turns slowwwwly… it’s hard to say that I’d rather stay awake when I’m asleep”.. crap, not working… I can’t, ok let’s try something more vivid, “I will survive” …1, 2,3, AAAAAAAH MY EAAAAAARS, get me out of here, I want out of here, these earplugs are a joke…wait a second, what’s that, hmm, now we’re talking, nice beat, well done MRI people, I feel I’m in the heart of a disco, yeah, nice, i feel like dancing… but I can’t move so let’s try to enjoy the beat without moving… this sucks…oh no, don’t go, what’s that? horrible noise back again, why, why!

Ok, why do I feel dizzy now? I feel like sleeping, I’m closing my eyes, oh no, I think I got used to the noise! this can’t be good, resist Eman, resist, wakeup, ok I’m awake but my eyes are shut, what does that mean? am I in a coma? am I still alive? (I wink) ok I’m still alive, conscious, good, but I’m  gonna keep my eyes shut, it’s somehow better this way… And I think; I think of the past, the present, the future, people, countries, animals, toys, movies, food, drinks, technology, professions, and kids…kids who have to go through this horrible procedure, and I suddenly felt silly. If I, a grown up, turned out to be such a “scaredy-cat”, what would children do? I felt a tear sliding down my cheek… ok, what was that? why am I emotional all of a sudden, is it the MRI? GOSH! it tickles, it tickles, my face is all itchy, I would kill for a little cheek scratch, why on earth did I have to THINK! when am I getting out of here? and suddenly I hear silence, ugly, irritating silence, I went deaf, that’s what it is, I hear nothing but the echoes of MRI noise… wait, I see light, a face, the doctor, is he talking? I can see my earplugs in his hands, why can’t I hear a word he’s saying…come to think of it, the doctor looks silly, he kind of looks like “curious George”, yes, the monkey… I hear something…

Doctor: we’re done, you can get up now.
Eman: (trying to pull myself up with no luck) I can’t move.
Doctor: you’ve been lying on your back without motion for a whole hour, let me help you. We’ll get back to you soon to discuss the results.
Eman: (still hearing noise) ok.

I could barely walk, I get out of the gown, put on my jeans & shirt, and leave. “Weird, the floor is really cold”, I thought, it wasn’t like that before, ah, of course, I forgot to put on my shoes. (check everything’s on) and then head to the washroom to wash my burning face, and only then did I understand why people were staring at me in alarm, no wonder, my face was almost purple.

Did you ever have an MRI scan? (I sure hope you didn’t and you wont EVER). Is it only me, or is this thing a torture machine?
My doctor recommended I have an MRI scan a while ago; as it is the case with almost all doctors here in Dubai, no matter how silly or serious your complaint is, they’d request extreme measures, but let’s not get started on that now. Back to the MRI. After a couple of weeks chasing the radiology department, I finally got myself an appointment, in the last week of Ramadan. I went, the doctor there asked me to get changed into the embarrassing hospital gown, and to follow him to the MRI room when I’m done.
It took me exactly 5 minutes to get ready, but just as I was actually going out of the room I took a quick glimpse of myself in the mirror, and thank God I did, or else I would have humiliated myself… because although I was sure I tied up all ropes of the gown, turns out they’re attached to only one side of the gown, I picked a torn gown, which didn’t look that… let’s say “decent” in the end. Luckily I found a bunch of other neatly stacked gowns, I tried them all, only one was appropriate to go out with, so I wrapped it around myself and went out.

Doctor: Ok, there’s where you’ll be lying down on your back, for 30 minutes, no moving, no shaking, no talking, nothing. You stay still, when we’re done I’ll notify you and get you out of there.
Eman: ok (piece of cake). I bravely go there, and it’s not that bad really, a bit cold, but it’s fine, nothing to fear.

The doctor clicks something and in seconds I’m actually INSIDE a horrible horrible machine, I’m facing a wall, all I can see is white, I’m freezing and I FREAK OUT as I hear his footsteps moving away from me.

Eman: WAIT,  listen, do you have to leave? can’t a nurse or anyone stay with me? at least so I’d feel the presence of a human being around?

Doctor: no, no one can stay, but I didn’t leave yet, I went to activate and test the panic button, here you go, you press this if anything goes wrong.

Eman: (What the ?) Panic what? what do you mean?
Doctor: (handing me tiny little earplugs), you MUST put these on right now, or else you’ll… he sees the shock on my face so decides to stuff them in my ears himself… before I can hear the completion of his sentence.
Eman: (freaking out more than ever), I take the earplugs out of my ears: what are these for?
Doctor: the acoustic noise, you wont be able to take the loud frequency of the sound without these, trust me. (And he leaves, as simple as that!)

30 minutes later:
I actually did pretty well, ok I’m freezing,  my back’s stiff and I can’t feel my shoulders or neck, but it wasn’t that scary, I barely even heard a sound, I must say, those earplugs did a great job  for their tiny little size. And as I happily removed them I heard the doctor say: ok get ready.
Eman: for what?
Doctor: there has been a technical problem, we couldn’t start the machine, we’ve been trying to start it for the past 30 minutes, and now it’s finally working, put your earplugs back on, NOW.

To be continued…

On his 4th Birthday I asked Adam: so what do you want to do on your big day tiger?

Adam: wanna go to the aquarium.

Eman: hmm, nice idea, ok get ready we’ll be leaving soon.

10 minutes later, he comes, shoes on, water bottle in hand, and a small plastic bag with something colorful inside.

Eman: what’s that in the bag?

Adam: chewing gum. I want to take it with me to the aquarium, is that ok?

Eman: sure sweetie, you can take it with you. Now I feel like chewing some gum too.

Adam: sorry mom, can’t give you, these are just for the fishes.

Eman: what?

Adam: you asked me what I wanted to do today, and I want to feed the fishes my favorite chewing gum.

Eman: hmm.  That’s sweet, but I’m afraid fishes can’t have your yummy chewing gum, they can’t chew it.

Adam: why not, they have teeth, I’ve seen their teeth.

Eman: (the boy’s got a point) they can, but I meant they would swallow it, and their tummies would hurt (if not suffocate and die way before that),

Adam: but the fishes are smart, didn’t you watch Nemo with me?

Eman: I did but (reality is something else my innocent child… has anyone actually tried feeding fish chewing gum? maybe tiny little bits? just to see what happens! ok ok, grow up, you’re his mom for God’s sake.) So what’s that in your pocket?

Adam: a gum-ball.

Eman: keeping the big one for yourself, I see?

Adam: no, that’s for the Shark .

Adam and I woke up really early today. By 8:15 we were bored to death, extremely active, and we both wanted to swim. Adam made it clear that he wants to swim in the “waves” aka sea, and make a sand castle with beach sand. So I thought why not, I know sea water is hot in the summer, and sun is really strong, and that people advise to go either in early morning hours (as in 5 or 6 a.m.) or around sunset, but what the hell, I thought it was a cool idea. I mean going to the beach is fun, refreshing, and would definitely be cooler than any other outdoor activity I thought. So we got dressed, and off we went to the beach. Which was a bad bad bad bad bad BAD idea. Let’s just say it was neither refreshing nor cooling, actually anything but cool.

Water was boiling hot, walking on sand was just like walking on burning coal, and the sun was so bright and hot, with hot wind, and last but not least the irritating humidity. But the one thing I must admit is that I actually enjoyed it. I mean it was really fun building sandcastles (which turned out a bit ugly I’m afraid), collecting “shea sells” as Adam insists on saying, these were beautiful, but after spending a while sorting out the good ones to keep, I went to get a bag to put them in, found nothing as I returned, but Adam’s excited screams as he was running towards the sea caught my attention, and SPLASH, there you go, he threw them all in water, laughing like crazy… kids are innocently evil, you know! Oh and did I mention the fish? yeah, we were swimming with a few, and I was all brave and didn’t mind the fish at all, until one bit me that is, and that’s when I was all “eww” and felt really weird about the whole idea of swimming with fish.

It was also the first time (ever) I swim with my sunglasses on. I’ve always thought people who swim with their sunglasses look really stupid, and today I joined the club. The light was so damn bright I felt I’m going blind. I wondered why don’t beachwear companies make those water-resistant hats, you know the ones they make for little kids, for a second I was about to steal my own son’s swimming hat, with all the lovely shade it provided… well maybe they do make them, but I never came across any, so I just settled for my sunglasses, it helped a bit, only I, who aren’t used to wear any, kept diving in the water with them on, came out of the water to see people staring at me, must have looked really stupid, but well, they can’t expect me to swim with my head floating all the time, I mean where’s the fun about that!!

It was so hot, that we couldn’t wear our dry clothes that were in the bag, because they were so darn hot to even touch! although they were inside the bag, which was in the shade all the time. And, lol, the showers, you know those showers they provide for swimmers to wash off sand and salt, I actually screamed because it felt like torture, it was boiling, really boiling, so glad I tried it before Adam. So don’t use any of these if you go to the beach this time of the year.

We came back exhausted, and toasted, really, let’s just say that those 50+ Ultra High Protection sunscreens “especially designed for sun sensitive skin”, are not strong enough for Dubai’s sun, they did prevent severe sun burns, to be fair, but still, I feel like I was dipped in some chocolaty paint if you know what I mean, although we spent most of the time under a beach-umbrella!

I guess it wasn’t that bad, we enjoyed the 6 hours we stayed there; but I’d definitely recommend sticking to pools or early hours sea swimming, or swimming around sunset. Our skin still feels hot, which Adam seems to be enjoying. Kids go mad when they’re on the beach, and parents have to be prepared for anything… they do love everything about the sands and the waters, and the screaming and the running and the freakin splashing. He thinks he’s going back tomorrow… well, he wishes