May 21 2004

Know How To End A Relationship The Right Way!

Actually a lot of us wish to be the ones who end a certain relationship rather than the ones being dumped. Fact is, having to be the one to start this break up thingy is not as easy as it seems. Even if you have the right, and even if you were so determined, you’ll still find it very difficult to tell someone that you no longer want him/her, unless of course you’re one mean “feelingless” bastard.
The way you end a relationship has a very important effect on both parties. The whole thing could end up peacefully, and pass as an experience, or it could make you feel so bad, so full of hatred and so full revenge-seeking desires. And although I’m a lady, but to be honest, I’ve noticed that men are more gentle in breaking up than women. This is generally speaking of course, and a total personal opinion. I think girls have a very big problem when they’re the ones being dumped, they don’t accept the fact and they always believe they’re too perfect to be dumped. And, I’m so sorry to say this, but unfortunately, even when they’re the ones to dump, they do it in a very aggressive and mean way most of the time. They give themselves the right to say bye whenever they feel like it, and expect the partner to take it easily regardless of the reasons. Not that men are angels all the time, but once again, just generally speaking, and specifically talking of situations concerning long term relationships that I have personally heard of. Dumping someone can be for so many reasons: lack of understanding, lack of respect, boredom, problems based on disagreement in principles, falling in love with someone else, violence and suffering, disloyalty, or in some cases which are based on financial interest: when the partner runs out of money 😛 .
Anyway, when you dump someone, or let’s say end a certain relationship, it doesn’t mean we’re talking about boy/girlfriends only, but also your fiancé(e) or even husband/wife. So if you are about to end a relationship, first think of it really well, and be fair to your partner as well as yourself. If there is no way on earth you’re gonna save this relationship, and if you have no other choice but end it, then at least do it the right way.
1. Get straight to the point. (no need for boring introductions, they only make the other part more nervous and more confused), and no need to stop answering phone calls or replying to messages. Just be brave enough to end it at once.
2. A face to face conversation is the best way, if that was not possible because of long distance or fear of breaking the heart, or fear of changing your mind, then do it by a written letter and not an email. Emails are not as expressive as handwriting. Phone calls should be last choice, because if one of the two is mean then the call will end up with a fight that will lead to more heartbreaking and more insult.
3. Never end a relationship after your partner has spent a fortune on an invitation or a gift for you.
4. The place to end the relationship depends on your partner’s expected reaction. If (s)he is the nervous mad type, then avoid public places …
5. You don’t need to mention the sweet memories and the good sides you loved about them as an introduction or as a comment after you’ve blew it. It makes no sense.
To end a relationship all you have to so is always put yourself in your partner’s place and treat them the way you’d love to be treated.
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Posted May 21, 2004 by Eman Abukhadra in category "General