This morning I woke up at the same usual time, drank the same coffee, did some of my translation work, just like every other day. My day was a very ordinary one, doing the same things, at the same time, in the same place. That was until I checked my email and noticed that among the many emails in my inbox there was this Facebook message, notifying me that I was tagged in a note by my younger sister.

Her note: “Once upon a time… never comes back”

“- Going back, twenty years ago, it was a blessed Ramadan evening, I was lying on his lap, he was running his fingers through my hair, and reciting verses of the holy Quran; I recall nothing after that… I fell into a deep sleep. He’s been there… he’s my lovely dad…
– It was my very first day, she combed my hair and dressed me up, I grabbed my lunch box and I’m off to preschool, it was the beginning of my new big world, I tried to hold my tears back, but… couldn’t help it, I let go. She wiped my tears away, threw that warm kiss on my cheek and pushed me forth. She’s been there… she’s my unique mom…
– Holding her books, memorizing the words, wearing that red girly ribbon over her wavy hair… that’s how she looked, “Can I have my milk?” …her smile replied, “Can I get my ice-cream?”… her green shiny eyes responded… she’s been there… she’s my eldest sis…
– It’s London, rain drops were knocking the top of our heads… “It’s too cold”… “it’s Okay, just walk beside me and give me your hand” … my little fingers were hiding safely inside his big warm palm… he’s been there… he’s my eldest brother…
– I woke up, opened my eyes wishing if she’s still around… but… “it was her wedding yesterday”, I can no more wake her up and bother her small ears with noisy sounds… heart to heart, that’s how we communicate,  she’s been there, she’s my other sis…
– My twin, babies we were… and together we grew up… too many things to recall and little to forget… fighting…playing…screaming… dreaming… dancing… me and him, he’s sitting in that spot, a special corner in my heart… he’s been there, he’s my little brother…That’s my family. Bless you…”

The minute I finished reading her note, I felt like time stood still; it was no longer today, it was years back, I no longer was in my home in Tunis, I was back in Kuwait, London, Amman and many other places we used to be when we were all together. I felt this overwhelming joy to relive these so old moments, but couldn’t fight the tears that found their way so easily out of my burning eyes… for I was the “other sis” who left immediately after her wedding, just like that. I felt so brokenhearted, just like I must have broken all their hearts years back.

But as I taste this bitterness , I sense sweetness of the old days taking over my aching heart, reviving one single dream, a hope, that the “once upona time” will come back, and that one day we’d all be in the same place and bring to life those sweet memories that seem so far away.